Finish the Race

A couple years ago I decided that entering a Triathlon would be a great fitness goal to work towards. I had never done more than a 5K run before but had been a fitness instructor for a few years so I thought I was capable of finishing. That was my goal, to finish.

I signed up for a local event that required a 500m swim, 30K bike ride, and a 5K run--roughly 1/2 of a full triathlon. I went to the library to research triathlons and how to train for them and gleaned information from other fitness-minded people. At one point I even called the person who was organizing the event and when he perceived that I had no triathlon experience, he suggested that I do the Try-a-tri which is geared to beginners. No, I wouldn't even consider it. The distances in that event wouldn't challenge me at all. I was willing to perform poorly at a more challenging race, even if it was humiliating. I wanted something that I would have to work for.

A friend of ours had offered to train and participate in the event with me. He had done a triathlon successfully before and was going to be very helpful in guiding me through this experience. I had my husband's blessing and our friend's motives were pure, but after one training session with him I knew I couldn't go through with our arrangement. It was too much time for me to spend with someone who was not my husband and I felt convicted. This decision disappointed our friend and handicapped me, but I felt certain that obedience to the Holy Spirit prompting within me was more important and that this was a critical decision to my future. I was on my own now.

No sooner had I begun my training then I began to encounter all sorts of unexpected challenges. On one bike ride, my tire went flat and I had to walk the bike home. On another ride, I skidded on some gravel and tore up my leg. The pool where I was swimming my lengths kept closing unexpectedly so I had to find another location that was inferior in size. I had difficulty juggling my training with my family responcibilities.

I bought a wetsuit in preparation for the cold river water and found it uncomfortable (almost choking) to swim in. I found out the night before the event that it was because I was wearing it BACKWARDS! No wonder it was so hard to wiggle out of after swimming.

The worst thing I had to deal with was the fear that began to well up inside me.

"Who do you think you are?"

"Don't you realize you are going to look like a fool?"

"Everyone's going to wonder why you entered this race"

"Better not invite too many people to watch, you're going to completely humiliate yourself"

I had to battle the thoughts of insecurity and failure that bombarded my mind during the hours of training. I had to remind myself that even if I came in last place, if I finished, that was my success.

The day of the triathlon I felt even more awkward and inadequate. Most people were in groups, had real triathlon bikes and were a great deal taller and leaner than I was. I even dressed different than everyone else. I had a few wonderful friends who came to support me and I was greatly encouraged by their enthusiasm and rallying around me.

First came the swim. It was mostly a run through shallow water which I hadn't anticipated or trained for, but the actual swim was worse. The water was black and wavy so I couldn't see or get a breath without a mouthful of water. This was far different the glassy, still pool water I had done laps in. I had to swim sooner the other competitors too because I was so much shorter. Before long they were out of the water and on to the biking portion and I was still there with the lifeguard, literally swimming for my life. I thought I was going to drown, but fortunately the lifeguard coached me along and I made it to shore gasping and legs trembling. My fellow competitors were long gone but bystanders pointed me in the right direction and soon I was on my bike.

The ride was lonely because I was so far behind and only the race volunteers were there to mark that I was going the right direction. I noticed that I was racing along at a faster than normal speed and it was pretty easy so I started to feel confident. If I kept this up, maybe I could make up for lost time in the water.

At the turn around point I was in for a shocking surprise. The cycling had been easy because the wind had been at my back! Now in my return journey I was travelling into the wind and the pace was gruelling. I had not bought a MP3 player--I didn't think racers actually used them during events. I was so bored that I took to counting to 100 over and over again just for something to pass the time.

It felt great to get off the bike but by now my legs were jell-o and I had the 5K run left. I jogged unbelieveably slow and the heat was really getting to me, but I kept on going. I had planned on doing a full triathlon in the future but during that run I wondered why anyone would want to double this torturous event...never mind do an Ironman.

I finally crossed the finish line in just under 2 hours with my friends cheering me on. I cried with happiness and relief while my loved ones gathered near. I found out that I came in 36th out of 38 competitors. I finished and I wasn't the last one! I was very happy.

While enjoying a post-race massage, I was in for a greater surprise. They were giving out awards to the winners and my name was called! I went the the front of the crowd and received a gift and plaque for 1st Place! It turned out that I was the only female in my division (35-39yrs). I won by default.

This experience taught me so many things. I had no idea that I had won 1st place in the triathlon the moment I sent my entry in and determined to follow through. Not because I was the fittest, trained the hardest, or was the most deserving...but because I was the only one who entered the race!

This brings to mind so many comparisons. So many of us are plagued by fear, intimidation and hear the taunting voice of doubt when we attempt to do something more difficult than we've ever done before. We compare ourselves with others around us (as I did with my fellow competitors) and find ourselves lacking. We get left in the dust and feel the humiliation of not performing well. Things go wrong and we make mistakes, but if we stick to our resolve and finish our race, whatever it may be, we may just find out that we did better than we expected. Maybe those people we compared ourselves to, weren't our competitors after all. Maybe we are in a division of our own and we are winners just because we dared to start and stuck it out until the bitter end! My friends, finish your race with your chin held high. You are a winner!