The Harvest

With autumn weather sweeping in with a sharp abruptness that feels as chilly as the air outside, I found myself surveying my garden and what is left of the ripening vegetables. Picking this late summer harvest and noticing that there is yet still unripened fruit on the vines gives me hope that this season may tarry just a little bit longer..

I planted less square footage this year than in years past but almost every plant

thrived and yielded produce beyond my expectations. We have enjoyed bowl upon bowl of homemade tabbouleh & salsa from the one parsley and 2 Roma tomato plants I put in. I literally picked my whole parsley plant clean a few weeks ago and was able to pick enough for another tabbouleh salad today! Same goes for the never-ending Greek salad bowl that was fuelled with my tomatoes & cucumbers. I planted two pepper plants and after three batches of stuffed peppers I still have a huge bowlful of shiny green peppers to transform into this tasty dish. The green beans are finished now but while they were producing I got two huge potfuls of this favorite dinnertime vegetable. My four Brussel sprout plants are just getting ready to present their sprouts for picking now. Mmmm...steamed Brussel sprouts with butter & salt. Yum.

 

Sheri, our renter, left us and her small section of garden behind to go back to school in Sarnia. Most of her plants were done with their contributions but her beefsteak tomatoes are still growing rapidly. I have already made a huge potful of homemade marinara sauce and have enough to make another pot today.



The only disappointments were the strawberries and peas. The strawberry plants blossomed beautifully but the plump, juicy berries were nibbled on or completely stolen by a renegade squirrel so we didn't get to enjoy them. Next year we plan on hanging those plants where wildlife is unable to reach them. The peas were an afterthought and I should have given them something to climb. One plant that grew and intertwined with my wire fence did exceptionally well.

Shawn mentioned that he noticed I haven't been using my juicer recently and at first I felt a twinge of guilt. Had I purchased this appliance and quickly lost interest as I have in the past? It wasn't until some days later that I realized that the slowing of my juicing and blending had corresponded with the weeks of harvesting my garden vegetables. The energy I used to apply to regular juicing was now being used to pluck, clean, and prepare these wonderful veggies into culinary delights. It is one thing to plant, weed, water and pick and another altogether to ensure that the abundant food does not go to waste!

I feel a little sad at the thought of this season coming to an end. Soon the plants will be shrivelled up and my garden plot will be covered with leaves first and then snow. I will have to go back to the market where I typically purchase my fresh produce but it will not feel the same.

I have already jotted notes down for next year and have plans to expand my garden in years to come. I would have appreciated having my own cilantro for the salsa, green onions for the tabbouleh and red onions for the Greek salad. The blueberry & raspberry bushes and the pear tree I planted this spring may also yield its fruit in the years to come and we look forward to more summers of healthy, organic foods from our own back yard.

Heart Motivation

I admit that my focus on a healthful lifestyle this year and it's very significant impact on my decisions may appear to be almost unhealthy or compulsive to the average person. More than once I have had feedback from individuals that made me evaluate my heart and motives and question why I do what I do.

In the past, my sole motivation for eating & exercising was to lose weight. I wanted to get as thin as I could so I could feel attractive and accepted. I was able to achieve this but as I mentioned in previous blogs--I did this at the expense of my long-term health. I did achieve the feelings of attractiveness and acceptance I was looking for but it very quickly began to feel more like a prison than the pinnacle of success it appeared to be. I was terrified of gaining back any weight for fear of people's judgement.

"Have you seen Melissa? What happened? She was so thin & fit. Looks like someone isn't exercising enough...or maybe she's letting her eating get out of control..."

The fear of being talked about or falling off the pedestal I'd fought to stand on was almost worse than not having stood on it at all.

As I mentioned in my very first blog, "The Beginning", I had a significant spiritual experience with God that was the key to unlocking the prison I had deliberately locked myself in. Health, not weight-loss, became my motivation. This was not an immediate transformation but more a concept that was was conceived in my heart and has steadily grown.

To many, my current fascination with building healthy behaviours and getting rid of toxic ones may seem just as prison-like but I assure you that in this case, it is not. My optimal health is not something that people can see and judge. It is not a measure by which people can assess my worth as a human being. You will not find my dramatic health transformation in any magazine and there is no guarantee that I will not succumb to an untimely death just because I took the time to take care of myself. Sometimes I even wonder if anything I've done this past year has made a difference at all!

I do admit that I struggled quite a bit with making the shift between trying to be perfect and just deciding to be obedient to the principles of health. In the year before I began this blog I had given up once again on my efforts to give up caffeine. I had made some great changes in other areas so I decided that maybe I was just trying too hard to be perfect and that I should just give myself permission to have a few bad habits.

I felt like I was betraying the revelation I had received from the Holy Spirit during my 1st encounter weekend but my efforts to change weren't working and I was beginning to think maybe I had imagined the whole thing in my head. Having caffeine, sugar or artificial sweetener isn't a sin and maybe I was being compulsive in denying myself the pleasure of a coffee or diet soda. It felt bad at the time but every time I felt that voice saying, "Melissa, you shouldn't be eating or drinking that..." I would mentally turn it off. I had given up.

It was during that year that I experienced some emotional difficulties. I spoke with my doctor about my struggles and she suggested some treatments that I wasn't thrilled about. During my prayer time over these issues I was reminded of my previous partial hysterectomy and the effect that could be having on my emotional stability. I requested that my doctor do a blood test first and if hormones were not a factor, then I would proceed with her recommendations. She looked skeptical at my theory but did the blood test to appease me. When the results came back, I was indeed in the midst of menopause as I suspected.

Not being one to use this condition as an excuse, I began to research holistic ways to manage menopausal symptoms. I found some positive suggestions that included using Wild Yam Cream instead of traditional hormone replacement therapy but I also found that a healthy lifestyle can make a huge difference. Sure enough, a few of the healthy recommendations included eliminating caffeine, sugar, artificial sweeteners and white, processed flour from the diet. Drink more water. Exercise. Supplement. All the things we know we are supposed to do and don't.

It was then that the connection between what the Holy Spirit had been whispering to me and a proper heart motivation was made. I could endeavor to make these changes not out of the compulsion of trying to be perfect but out of a realization that God knows our bodies and what is best for us. Who better to advise us than the one who made us and knows what we need more than we do? Wisdom speaks to us every day but we rarely listen and many times if we do there is frustration because we do not understand the purpose. Healing, not perfection, is the goal.

So today, when I go out with my family and opt not to have the coffee, soda, ice cream, donuts or other treats it is not because I hate my body, feel the compulsion to abuse myself, or a desire to be perfect. No. It is because I have come to realize that these things are not good for me and I have come to accept that I will be happier, healthier and more healed if I choose not to have them.

It is a significant difference that only I truly know. To the person observing it all looks the same. I still struggle sometimes with the old motivations in my heart but they do not have the grip they used to have. In truth, they didn't have much strength anyway and often gave way to temptation. This new, purer motivation is much more effective in producing real, long-term, successful change than I have ever experienced in the past.

I still struggle sometimes. God is still working on me. Health is much more than food & exercise. Recently, the Holy Spirit has been whispering to me about other heart motivations and issues that have nothing to do with nutrition or fitness but have everything to do with healing and wholeness. I am encouraged because when you listen in one area, it often makes it easier to listen in another. It may look the same on the outside but inside, it's all new and abundantly more powerful.

"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Wacky Moles

One challenge I have faced anytime I have sought to improve my habits especially during this year commitment to grow & live a healthy lifestyle, is to keep trying in spite of temporary, yet persistent failure. Logic would lead you to believe that you could focus on one behaviour for a limited amount of time and when it looks like it's become second nature, you could turn your focus to another behaviour while maintaining the consistency in the first one. This might be true if I were a programmable robot or if the variations of life and emotions didn't come into play!

Instead of consistent, systematic conquering of bad habits and the successful assimilation of new ones, I've experienced an almost comic life version of "Whack a Mole" where just as I pound down one issue, another rises up and as I pound that one down, the series of "moles" that I had just whacked at keep taking their turns randomly popping out of their holes again. Why won't they all stay down?

One week I may decide I'm going to focus on my water drinking and as I experience some success in that department, my food & exercise journal may be neglected. I turn my attention to the food & exercise journal only to forget the water and find out that I'm not exercising enough in relation to what I'm eating. I start to increase my exercise but then I forget to make some healthy foods and snacks for myself to eat and end up standing at the fridge with no good food choices and we order a pizza. So I spend some time making some wholesome food and realize I've forgotten to take my supplements all week....I think you get the picture!

Life is a series of changing seasons and frankly, as humans we are bizarrely complicated in our reactions and emotions. Summer vacation may somewhat derail my efforts to keep my family and I on the nutritional straight and narrow but September is here and bringing it's routine structure with it. I've been distracted with conflict and emotional turmoil that has temporarily hindered my energy for healthy meal preparation or journaling but that too will pass. It's important to keep the big, long term picture in front of your eyes or the insanity of reemerging obstacles will make you throw your "whacking mallet" away in despair.

I may not drink my 8 glasses of water each and every day but since water is pretty much all I drink ever, at least I know that I'm not quenching my natural thirst with other less-healthy alternatives. I may not take my supplements consistently but I have them and they occasionally need replacing so they ARE being consumed, albeit haphazardly. My exercise may not always outdo my appetite but at least my body is somewhat fit and there's less extra poundage than there could be. So maybe we order a pizza now and then--at least that is the exception and not the rule.

I am comforted that although my "whacking" efforts may appear to be disjointed and ineffective, I am finding that the moles don't get out of their holes quite so high and my efforts are scoring some points. If I keep at it, maybe I'll be quick enough with the mallet to keep them down for good. In the meantime I'm going to keep trying and remember that it could actually be fun to play this game if I make it so.

Hitting the Trail

Tonight my daughter was making cupcakes with supplies that were given to her on her birthday. I gave oversight to this project until it was time to ice them. They smelled very yummy and fresh and I had flashbacks to the last cake episode that began with a lick of icing from my fingers (Cake Confessions). I solemnly told my daughter that I could not help her with this part of her cupcake-making and decided that I better find something to do. She was very understanding and even apologized for tempting me.

I needed to exercise anyways. With Shawn on the computer, Trysten watching cartoons and Paris developing her culinary skills in the kitchen, I decided to venture outdoors for a 5K walk/jog along the recreational trail near my home. I changed my clothes, gathered my Ipod, Gymboss (a wonderful gadget that times and beeps to signal when it's time to switch between my walking and jogging intervals), runners, the leash and a bag. That was all I needed to do to alert my Yorkie, Milo, that we were going out. She began to whimper in anticipation before I could lace up and get to the door!

As we set off, I realized that this was the first walk/jog that I have undertaken since May (read Unexpected Exercise Delight). It was hot early this spring, then I got my new bike and since then running shoes were not part of my summer routine. I enjoy these outdoor jaunts especially with Milo trotting along with me so happy to be outside. I felt a twinge of regret. The evening was so cool and pleasant that it is impossible to wallow in guilt for very long. I love that Milo doesn't complain about the months of neglect and the pathetic walks my children take her on. She just relished what I had to offer here and now. Dogs are wonderful for that!

At one point as I alternated between my brisk stride and slow jog along the path by Turkey Creek, I noticed a deer drinking from an upturned mini recycle bin in one of the palatial yards that backs on the the opposite bank. I'm constantly in awe of these moments even though they are quite common here. Take the recreational trail at dawn or dusk and you're very likely to see deer in the bush, in a field or even on the trail itself. It is a sight that never fails to take my breath away and make me smile. It is special and I feel blessed to experience it.

There is a portion of the trail that is very wooded and bushy and I noticed today that it was so overgrown that the trees have almost joined together above the trail. It was a feeling akin to being in a haunted forest and I was glad that Milo was with me and it was still daylight even though it doesn't seem so for the brief foray into this cave-like section of the path. This is when running with a human partner is a good plan!

I expected the change of exercise to be punishing but was pleasantly surprised by the ease with which my body adapted to the demands. Even Milo was in pretty good form considering that she was out of practise. It wasn't until the last quarter of the workout that I began to feel the complaints of my hips and knees. That is a familiar ending to this exercise choice and the reason I typically limit myself to two such workouts a week even at my best.

Coming back to the house, I met up with a neighbor and had the opportunity to chat for a couple minutes as we headed in the same direction. This was a rare exchange for me due to my work and leisure choices. It is good when you are able to do something healthy that has such a varied benefit. The raised heart rate & sweat, fresh air, the calm & serenity of nature, bringing happiness to a faithful pet, adventure and comrade with others on the trail and in the neighborhood. What a wonderful way to end the day! So why don't we do this more often?

My Big Fat Greek Salad

My co-worker, Stephanie Morris, has been a major support to my efforts to eat healthfully by her willingness to make salads for our lunch. All one needs to do is bring whatever salad veggies are available and she is good to go.

I, on the other hand, am uncharacteristicly lazy when it comes to salad preparation. Many times I purchase salad greens and watch them slowly wilt over a two-week period with promises that I will make that salad to go with dinner...tomorrow. My family doesn't complain about this so it is a bad habit gone unchecked. When I do summon the will to fix a salad, it is often uninspired and I have to prod my family to partake in it.

Not anymore. In fact, increasingly, my saladian purchases come directly to the WCF staff kitchen and I stick with steamed veggies for supper at home which for whatever reason seems to work better both for me and my clan.

During the winter my favorite salad is the typical greens assortment with red onion & tomato. Stephanie makes an awesome simple vinaigrette dressing which I am sure she wouldn't mind me sharing. (See below).

During the summer however, we have gone "Greek" due to the abundance of tomatoes & cucumbers from my garden. I brought what I had and she did the rest by adding the red onion, feta and her dressing.. Almost daily we dish servings from the communal salad bowl savouring the fresh veggies, tangy dressing and salty feta. Stephanie sometimes passes around the bag of olives from home that she keeps separate from the rest of the salad for my sake.

I became so addicted to this healthy indulgence that I begged  for her dressing recipe (see below) and asked her to buy some feta on my behalf so I could make the salad at home on the weekends and contribute more fully to the process. Typically, I dislike large chunks of cheese and only tolerate Feta crumbled into very fine crumbs, but the fresh feta that Stephanie buys from Sam's in the states is very mild and tasty so I ask for bigger pieces.

I used to put dollops of Kraft dressings on my roughage but after experiencing these homemade dressings, the others do not compare. Thanks Stephanie for your salad dressing mentorship! I'm still a bit lazy since Stephanie does the majority of the actual washing & slicing of the vegetables but once in a while I get in there and help. Once I even made the whole salad and delivered it to Stephanie's desk when she was too busy to take a formal lunch. I think she liked that.

Stephanie's Basic Vinaigrette
2 Tbs Olive Oil
2 Tbs Rice Wine Vinegar
Salt & Pepper to Taste

Stephanie's Greek Salad Dressing
3 fl oz Olive Oil
1 fl oz Red Wine Vinegar
1 1/2 Tsp Garlic, minced
1/4 Tsp Oregano

Cake Confessions

I have to be honest lest my faithful readers think I have more self-control than I actually do. I succumbed to cake...not once but TWICE!

It's funny but the last time I did this was Trysten's birthday (read "Take the Cake") and I was fine until, you guessed it, Paris' Birthday this month. I suppose this is where I should be grateful that I did not go on to have more children!

I was doing fine until we got home from the park after a hectic day of preparations & celebration. We were putting everything away and that included slicing, storing, and freezing the leftover cake. I began my spiral downward with a simple lick of icing from my fingers. Mmmm...that tastes good. Soon I was down THREE pieces. I knew that wasn't very smart but at first I felt like I had gotten away with it. Ha! At three in the morning I woke with an adrenaline rush that would not let me sleep in peace. Sugar buzz. Miserable. Why did I do this to myself? I used to drink coffee and diet pop and have sweets on a regular basis and I never had reactions this strong. Now I am so sensitive to sugars that an indiscretion has a mega drug-like effect. At that moment I was seriously questioning the benefit of my choices.

In the rational daylight hours, while discussing the sugar phenomenon with a friend, I realized that while I may have had a higher tolerance in the past, the effects were likely being felt by my body and harm being done. So much better to prove how toxic sugar is when your body is purified and then gets a good dose of it.

One would think that I would have learned my lesson and steered clear of another cake incident, but alas, I too am inflicted with that inane human tendency to repeat stupidity. A week later I was eying the cake in the freezer and feeling a little carefree. The only positive thing I can say is that I had the sense to stop at 1-1/2 pieces this time.

I have noticed that my resolve to continue in healthy lifestyle habits was weakening significantly in light of these failures. Shawn's stops at Tim Horton's for a coffee and the family ice cream runs were beginning to wear me down. Why am I doing this? What's the point? Am I really achieving anything positive? Sure my weight is down 5-6lbs since the New Years but it doesn't feel all that significant. I could be a lot more fun if I just joined in and indulged with my friends & family. When will the temptation of coffee & pop go away?

I acknowledge these questions, doubts, and feelings but that is all I can do. I'm not willing to let a few mistakes undo months of hard work. What are my options really? Give up? Start going back to habits I've gained some victory in and live with the knowledge that I actually chose to go back to them like a dog who vomits and then goes back to make another meal of it. Do I want a coffee or soda that bad? Will it make me feel that good?

I decide that it's not worth it. I realize that cake-like food is missing from my menu and I need to find a healthy alternative if I want to immunize myself from those deprivation-driven moments. Yesterday, I made a Honey Lemon Cake that uses only natural sugars and although it tastes nothing like Zehrs Chocolate cake, a small piece is enough to satisfy. It's one proactive step.

I encourage you, whatever positive changes you are attempting to make in your life, not to give up on what you really want just because occasionally you happen to forget and indulge in what you "think" you want in the moment.

Paper Versus Digital

I am for the most part a woman who has embraced technology. I love my blackberry and my laptop. It has been quoted by time-management professionals that to be effective, a person needs to choose whether they are paper or digital oriented and stick with one or the other.

What do professionals know anyway? I have noticed 2 things that defy my enjoyment of technology. First, I would rather read information from paper than a computer screen if given the choice and second, I am more satisfied by keeping a paper food journal than a digital one.

This is crazy because they have some great digital diet/exercise programs out there! I know because I've tried alot of them. There are some seriously cool mixes of food & exercise databases that can show you graphs and tell you the nutritional composition of everything about what you ate and how many calories you have burned so long as you are faithful to enter the data on a regular basis. They also allow you to enter food information that is not already in the database or create favorite "meals" so that multiple food choices can be selected with the touch of a button.

So why do I currently use a pen & a paper journal? Good question. To be honest, my fav digital program hasn't crossed over to Blackberry yet (I first experienced it as a Palm user) and BB diet software is akin to using DOS-based computer programs. Blah. I've been stalking Vidaone via email every couple months asking when their BB version will be released and they are assuring me that it will come soon. I will likely pay the token $10 fee to cross-over but am expecting to be disappointed as I have been with other favored Palm programs that tried to match their performance on a blackberry platform.

So, I resorted to the traditional book-bound diet & exercise journal (check out my blogs "Bringing It Together & Week of the Journal") and have found it extremely rewarding. Then I remembered other times where I was faithful to keep a journal and realized that my most profitable seasons of weight loss or maintenance were while using a paper journal.

Not sure why this appeals to me so much. Having to enter & re-enter the same foods & caloric values repetitively and resort to a office calculator to add up columns of numbers on a daily basis is so archaic. Having to go to the back of my journal to survey an alphabetical list of foods instead of typing in a couple letters and selecting from instantaneous drop-down lists--what am I thinking???

It is what it is. My last journal expired (it only holds 14 weeks) and it was time to get another one. I did the tedious chore of entering repetitive personal data (like my supplement doses & RMR) on every page and transferring my hand-written collection of foods that are not included in the alphabetical listing that comes with the book. Everything in my technology savvy mind goes "Waste of time. Go digital!" but I love my little black book and the entries/notes that I make in it every day. The daily two-page spread with my scrawl that is as varied and inconsistent as I am. It is the picture that no PDA can ever display in it's cold exactness and limitations. At least not yet, that is. Hmmm...I wonder what the I-Phone software has to offer....

Preservative Therapy

The thing about loving to eat and bouncing around from eating plan to eating plan is that I have experienced some exceptional recipes that have become favorites. Some favorites have had to go by the wayside because they had unhealthy ingredients...mainly artificial sweeteners...but the majority have stood the test of time and diet strategies. The problem is, they were scattered in various places from recipe books, accordion files, and personalized binders. When a craving hit, I had to go in search of the desired recipe and hope I didn't lose it before it made it's way back to it's resting place.

No more! This week I decided to fulfill one of those nagging items on my "one day when I have nothing to do AND the energy to do something" list. Every woman has one.

I've actually attempted this before but my efforts were either too tedious or did not produce the desired result of aesthetic appeal and convenience. Mixed in with those recipes are reminders of pathetic stabs at this endeavor in the past.

I started at Wal-Mart looking for the perfect scrapbook album. (This I decided would be more counter-top pleasing than a binder and more hands-on than a computer database). I needed the right size too. I settled on a 8" x 8", top-loading, post bound scrapbook and picked up some refills.

Next began the copying of the recipes which I believe is legal since I own the original books and I am not distributing or selling the copies to others. Personal use. Just in case anyone's sense of copyright violation is buzzing!

One recipe book after another I have been leafing through to find those friends that I search for so often. I am not shy about writing in my books or stating my opinion of the recipe so it's easy to spot the candidates. "Excellent", "Mmmm..", "Yummy", "Delicious". These are the words I am looking for. I avoid the ones that say "Terrible", "Disgusting", "Never make this again", "Not my style" or even a bland "Good". There are some I wasn't sure about so I put them in but be sure that if I try that creation and it is not special, it will be eliminated immediately.

Using the reduce size function on the copier and a paper cutter, I was able to get the recipes to my desired specifications so they slipped easily into the album page protectors. Even though I am not finished, I have the book divided into sections (Breakfasts, Snacks, Dinners, Desserts....etc) and I have even made little cover pages for each section via MS Word & clipart.

It is amazing therapy to get fed up and just do one of those things on that mental list. I have enjoyed the process greatly. Beyond the practical benefit of having my favorite recipes handy and ready to add to or delete from easily, I am envisioning a coveted collection of recipes that my children and their future families will want for their own. I wish my mom had done the same. She had some amazing recipes when we were growing up that have long since been lost but we all try in vain to reproduce. Sometimes we get it close but none of our concoctions is exactly "it". I have been on that same precipice and hope this project will solve the problem.

I'm not done but am getting closer than ever to being able to finally scratch this item off my list and that makes me feel very relieved indeed. Now if I could only get to those photos....

Road Less Travelled

The Jillian Michael's hoopla is over. I called the customer support and cancelled my free trial today. My workout DVD & book haven't arrived yet but from past experience with these things, it'll be a few more weeks before they arrive. I still have access to the website until Aug. 14th but I know I won't be visiting. The workouts were great but the menu was very limited. Cottage cheese, meat, and egg whites were the main staples. I didn't mind these foods but I definitely need variety long-term!

I have been keeping careful track of all my eating & exercise for over a month now with a friend reviewing my journal on a weekly basis and this was effective. Sometime last week I just stopped it all. No a scratch of journalling for a whole week!

The truth is I've been dealing with a lot of issues that don't directly relate with this blog but have a huge effect on my health and well-being. For a few weeks now I have been struggling with the decisions I've made and how the people in my life view me for making them.

I've come face to face with the reality that in being true to my passion for health/fitness and the other priorities in my life, I have disappointed...even hurt others. Not everyone thinks I'm a great person. It's been hard to look at myself from some other people's perspective. It hurts and I'm taking some time to process whats been said so I can separate the truth from lies, learn, and go on with my life.

A Facebook friend posted in their status today, "A wise woman takes the road less travelled". I think that statement sums up what I've tried to be and do with my life--be a wise woman and take the road less travelled. From feedback I've gotten lately, I realize that is not what everyone sees. Some see me as acting like I'm better than others, selfish, inconsiderate of people's feelings and cold.

Taking the road less travelled has put me in situations where I have had to face being alone. I've been okay with that for the most part. Lately though, it's gone beyond that. I've felt increasing pressure to abandon my less-travelled road and join the mainstream or risk being called "extreme" or "out of balance". It has made people who favor the more oft-travelled road challenge me with "What is wrong with this road?". "I've travelled with you on yours so why don't you travel with me on mine?"

I've even had a situation develop where I reached out in my inexperience and refusal to accept failure to achieve something that someone else who was more skilled and experienced had not dared to do. I succeeded but that person could not accept that reality and so they doubt my claim to victory. Being alone on that less-travelled road means that sometimes your achievements can be refuted or rejected because there is no-one but God there to see you.

I am blessed with a husband and friends who know who I am and accept me as such and for that I'm grateful. I realize now that the root issue is that deep down I believe that I am not a good enough Christian, wife, mother, daughter, friend, or person. I try very hard to please the people in my life but I am finding this way of living to be suffocating and in the end, I please no-one. I am taking time to seek God and to understand the uniqueness He has blessed me with and how I can be loving and supportive to those around me and still be the unusual woman God made me to be. I know somehow at the end of this season I will be a better, stronger and healthier person.

Homemade Goodness

Saturday, July 24-Made myself go downstairs and do a JM workout even though I didn't feel like it. Wasn't exciting but I felt great when it was over. Picked some parsley & my first ripe Roma tomatoes and made a homemade Tabbouleh salad to go with the dinner I had planned for our company that evening. Tabbouleh is time-consuming to make but it is very healthy & tasty. Also made homemade lemonade as a special treat. Yum. Served a platter of assorted raw cookie balls for dessert. Paris had made a beautiful chocolate cake at a friends so I wasn't sure if anybody would want my healthy alternative but they did. Shawn and the kids ate the cake while the rest of us adults sampled the raw cookie balls. Always an experience when I cook.

Sunday, July 25-Made our family favorite for breakfast. French Toast. For years I evaded this meal because traditionally it is made with white Texas toast bread with lots of Aunt Jemima syrup on top. I have, over the past few years been able to adjust my family to D'Italiano wheat bread and more recently to the agave syrup. For myself, I use the lite wheat bread. Now everyone is happy. Well almost. It used to be Shawn's favorite meal but it's slipped a few notches since I gave it a makeover.
We had roast beef & cheese wraps for lunch. As a family we agreed that tortillas are only for taco meat. I personally enjoy scrambled eggs in them too. We ate the wraps but we would have enjoyed the roast beef on a traditional crusty roll more.
Family bike ride together at a leisurely pace. We stopped for ice cream because that is probably the biggest incentive to getting my children on bikes in the first place. I'm getting used enjoying my water while they indulge. I remind myself that this is my choice and not everyone has to make the same one as me.
Sunday PM after prayer I finally indulge in a special treat. Homemade almond milk ice cream. This time I used peanut butter in the mix and at the end of the blending added a few of my fudge raw cookie balls. I ended up eating 3 wonderful servings and gave myself the chills!

Monday, July 26-Had a breakfast of cottage cheese, blueberries, and Kashi cereal. Getting used to this cottage cheese thing. It was kind of enjoyable with the crisp cereal & fruit mixed in.
Rode bike to/from work as my workout for the day.
Was exhausted after work to the point where I couldn't get off the couch. Shawn ordered pizza and I ate my 3 pieces appreciatively. Limited myself to one serving of homemade ice cream this time around.
Went to bed early.

In the past two weeks since increasing my protein levels and continuing to eat healthy, nourishing foods (except the pizza of course) I have lost 4 1/2lbs! This is a 6lb total for me since the New Year. Losing weight isn't my 100% focus but it's nice to see some of the extra pounds I've gained since my dramatic career change melt away. Doing things the right way and in balance with the other demands on my life. Whoohoo!

Avocado & Cinnamon

My Jillianmichaels.com adventures continue. This has been quite entertaining! Life is so boring when you're not going outside your comfort zone, but sometimes, as you will read in today's blog, it's safer.

Thursday, July 22-I decided to improvise for breakfast and put together a turkey sandwich on lite, whole wheat toast. As I pulled the bread out of the toaster ready to put on some mustard, I recalled Jillian saying on the show that avocado makes a good substitute for mayo. I'm not much of a mayo fan but I like butter and that toast was looking really dry. I pulled out the avocado and mushed some on both slices. Add the turkey, mustard, and tomato and it was very tasty. Avocado is good as guacamole, but I struggle with it's mushy texture when eating it alone. I could totally use it as a sandwich spread. I was very excited to find yet another healthy food finding it's way into my diet.
Tilipia leftovers for lunch.
We ended up eating the actual scheduled breakfast for supper. Shawn was craving eggs.
Went on a long bike ride (2 1/2hr) with Trysten. Took a break from the JM workout in my basement.

Friday, July 23-Woke up feeling unmotivated and a little lost. Didn't want to make any decisions so when I opened my fridge and saw the Greek Yogurt & Cinnamon mixture that I had made a couple days before and forgotten to eat, I grabbed it. Problem was, the JM recipe had called for 2 tsp. of cinnamon in a 6oz dish of plain Greek yogurt. It seemed a little excessive but I innocently complied with the recipe. Now two days later, the cinnamon was fully potent and I struggled with eating the combination. It was bitter and it burned. Suck it up, Cassidy! Maybe there was a purpose to this. Cinnamon is good for speeding up the metabolism. If other people can eat it, so can I!
My stomach burned for hours and to make matters worse, I had Texas Chili leftovers for lunch. Agony of heartburn all afternoon. I don't get heartburn that often so this is a big deal.
It was at this point that I double-checked the Greek Yogurt & Cinnamon recipe. No, I didn't misread it. It really said two teaspoons. This is what the message boards are for. I promptly logged in and posted my experience asking others if they thought this recipe's cinnamon was excessive.
I got a reply from someone named "Kim" apologizing about the amount of cinnamon in the recipe. She cut & pasted an identical recipe which called for 1 tsp, but I replied to her with a cut & paste of my own. I'm finding out quickly that each recipe is altered somewhat depending on the calorie and oxidation levels you are following. One version of the recipe may be fine, but it seems there are more errors in the ones I'm using!
I can't believe I cinnamon-poisoned myself thinking I was following the program. Man, I feel dumb. Who does that?
Did the JM workout first thing in the morning. Getting used to Jillian's 3-2-1 strategy. Three weight-training exercises, two cardio exercises, and one ab exercise.....x2 and 5 different circuits of course! I actually only completed four circuits before the hour was done. I have a feeling Jillian would be telling me to hurry it up.

Actually, Jillian Michaels would've liked my suffering today because for the first time since beginning this program, I really did think I was going to throw up and it wasn't from the workout!

Michael's Mania

I am thoroughly enjoying my use of the Jillianmichaels.com website so far. Here is a little review of my experience so far.

Sat. July 16th-I hadn't really started the meal plan but I packed some high protein items to eat for snacks and lunch during my day since I was going to be out. Shouldn't have bothered. Between grocery shopping, a meeting, driving out to Essex to see a friend finish her triathlon, and bolting home to prepare for company--I didn't have time to eat anything beyond a piece of Turkey meat. Good news was, I had bought everything I needed for the next two weeks and didn't overeat.

Sun. July 17th-We had a "Family Fun Day" at church after service which generously provides a hot dog, bag of chips, and a pop to everyone. Decided to pack JM's Oriental Chicken Salad instead. Good choice. Very tasty and satisfying. Didn't even want the junk food.
This was the day I conquered my dislike of cottage cheese by mixing it with strawberries & walnuts.
Tried the Greek-style yogurt mixed with blueberries. Not bad. A little tart.
Put together the ingredients for JM Texas Chili in crock pot before going to bed. I needed it for lunch the next day.

Mon. July 18th-Realized my breakfast was going to take more time than I had so I improvised.
Hated the Texas Chili. The recipe didn't call for beans or tomatoes of any kind so it was kind of like taco meat, but not as good in my opinion. I had added beans anyways, but I should've thrown in the bottle of marinara sauce I use in my own chili recipe.
Steak & edamame & cucumber for supper. Yum. There two more veggie dishes I was supposed to make but just didn't have time.
Tackled my first JM workout later that night after a 30min. family bike ride. Got about half way through before I got tired out and went to bed. My right knee bothered me a little too.

Tues. July 18th-Realized that my scheduled breakfast needed 4 hours in a slow cooker! Decided to improvise by making up my own breakfast and having my crock pot "Broccoli & Cheese Crustless Quiche" for lunch instead. Got home from work tired and hungry so we polished off the crock pot meal for supper! It was the day of eggs & cheese.
Did the whole JM workout while watching "Losing It with Jillian". Very strenuous but doable. Not alot of equipment needed. Just a weight bench, step platform, stability ball, dumbbells, skipping rope, mat and a timer. Right knee didn't start hurting this time until the very end. Sweaty!

Wed. July 19th-Actually made a JM breakfast of egg whites, diced turkey bacon & cheese. Tasted good all mixed together.
Improvised with lunch. They wanted me to put a can of tuna and some boiled egg whites in my salad. Not going to happen. Made the salad, then mixed the raw egg whites with the tuna and made little patties that I "fried". Wasn't spectacular but I know I wouldn't have eaten the other combination. I'm picky.
Supper was tilipia with onions & spices wrapped in foil and baked. Was supposed to grill the asparagus but decided to throw it into the foil with the fish to make my life easier. Also made sauteed zucchini & mushrooms. Jillian would have been proud of our dinner but my family was not impressed! Trysten cried out a despondent "NOooo" when he saw the amount of vegetables we were going eat.
No workout tonight. I got to rest. Thanks Jillian:)

Summary-The website design isn't superior to any other diet websites I've tried, but I like what it has to offer. It takes time to print out the meal plan, recipes, exercise plan, and exercises, but in a couple weeks I expect that to lessen significantly.
If you try to do the plans perfectly, you're going to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I just do the best I can and the upside is that the one week of meals probably will last two weeks as I hoped.
Some recipes are good and others not, but it's healthy and filling. I couldn't imagine eating everything called for in one day...I think I need to lower the calorie level I selected because I'm supplementing with little things that aren't found in the JM meal plan like dark chocolate, low-fat chips, almond milk ice cream and raw cookie balls (healthy). I'm trying to incorporate the treats that I know I'm not going to give up for life.
I had questions about two of the recipes and found the answers I was looking for on the message boards.

Didn't think I'd say this but starting to feel a little Jillian Michaeled out and I haven't even got the DVD or the book yet!

Getting Over It

Today, after a couple days of rigorous grocery shopping amidst other life events, I decided to begin my Jillianmichaels.com meal plan. Originally, I had planned for Monday but my fridge was stuffed with fresh foods and I figured that there was no excuse not to get started immediately.

I noticed on the JM plan that there was a lot of cottage cheese. This was annoying to me because I have never liked cottage cheese never found a good substitute for it. I went about changing all the meals that involved this item.

When I was a kid, I loved yogurt but I turned away stubbornly at the chunky, white curds of cottage cheese. I would watch in fascination as adults in my life devoured cartons with delight. I would reject lasagna that featured it instead of ricotta.

As a young adult in the cafeteria food industry, I watched curiously as patrons would buy "health plates" that had a healthy serving of the this protein-rich food. People actually order this?

Now I'm a "mature" adult and I remember two incidents where I endeavored to include this food in my diet. The first time, it was the main ingredient in a peach smoothie. I took one sip and dumped the whole thing down the drain. Disgusting! The second time I sat down with a dish of it and added a tablespoon of flax seed while in the PT office at Goodlife. My boss watched with amusement as I took tiny bites, grimaced, and chewed..and chewed..and chewed. She came by some time later and made fun of me for making the snack last so long. I never finished. I dumped it and accepted that some foods just taste bad to me. No more cottage cheese attempts!

It dawned on me that you have to like cheese to enjoy it. I realized that I don't really like cheese that much. Let me rephrase, I don't like cold cheese. I thoroughly enjoy melted cheeses. To me, cottage cheese is like little chunks of cold cheese in a white, soupy liquid which makes the whole thing more revolting. I don't eat cheese sticks (which is another great protein choice) or any other cold, solid cheese if I can help it.

I was shopping for some specific dairy items at Meijers in the States and I noticed little individual containers of small curd cottage cheese and recalled that the JM recipes mixed fruit & nuts with it. Impulsively I grabbed a few and decided to give it another try. There's been a lot of change this year and maybe, just maybe, I could train myself to endure, if not actually appreciate, this healthy food.

Today, I pulled it out and mixed it with a cup of sliced strawberries and a couple tablespoons of chopped walnuts. I mixed it all together and tentatively gave it a try. I have to admit that the fruit & nuts made it more palatable than flax seed did and I like the small curd--it was thicker and less cheesy tasting. I was thrilled when I was able to finish the whole bowl!

This is the beginning but it is a big step for me to put aside old mindsets and allow myself the opportunity to experience change at a very simple level. It was my choice whether to keep avoiding this food nemesis or to get over it. No-one else really cares, but I feel a bit taller and empowered knowing that I chose to grow as a person in this small way.

Healthy Vacation?

For over 10 years now I have dreamed of taking my fantasy vacation: a bike tour with Bike Vermont. We used to get their annual magazine which I loved to pour over. The beautiful scenery lowered my stress by huge degrees and I imagined how wonderful it would be for Shawn & I to undertake this active vacation together.

Bike Vermont offers vacation package to several destinations. The basic premise is that you cycle daily through beautiful, scenic areas to your next accomodations. Easy, moderate, or more advanced routes are provided and a support van transports your luggage (or you if needed) and fixes breakdowns. Breakfast and supper are included in the package and are provided by the exclusive bed & breakfast inns that they patronize. You buy lunch en route or order a packed lunch to take with you.

At the time we were financially strapped and busy with young children. The various tours they offer are fairly expensive so this became a life hope for me. One day, I would go on one of these tours. Our children are not so young now and they too, have a love for cycling. Maybe this could become a family vaca? I can dream, can't I?

Shawn, ever the thrifty one, would tell me that they were overpriced and that we could plan our own "tour" and probably save tons of money. Instinctively, I know that cycling from town to town on our own and staying at the local Day's Inn is not going to feel the same as travelling with a group, enjoying van & luggage support, and lodging at picturesque bed & breakfasts!

No, expensive or not, this was a vacation worth waiting for and enjoying just as it is offered.

My recent cycling escapades have caused this longing to resurface. Take a look at the online photo gallery. http://www.bikevt.com/gallery/ Wouldn't it be wonderful? One day, I am going to do this! You are my witnesses.

Losing It with Jillian

The closest I have to a t.v. hero is Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser and Losing It with Jillian. I'm fascinated, terrified, and generally in awe of her ability to assess a person's obstacles to fitness, abuse them til they break down, and then lead them willingly...successfully down the road to fitness.

I enjoy both shows and I have so many questions. What is she like when the camera's not on her? If I met her at a party would she be down to earth and personable or would she be a stuck up, full of herself diva? Does she really care about the people she works with or are they just pawns to further her career? Shawn & I speculate as to whether there are some families that she has moved in with who never make the air.

Jillian has a potty mouth on Biggest Loser but I haven't noticed that so much on her newer show. I know lots of people who don't like her but she is arguably the best trainer I've ever seen in action. Sorry Bob, but no matter how they stack the game to your advantage, she always produces the winner (I think this latest season might have been the first time one of Bob's team won-I can't remember). You just can't argue with the results.

Losing It with Jillian has one major agenda that has not been lost on me. It shamelessly promotes Jillianmichaels.com, her new website. The website awards the show participants with $50,000 and it is advertised throughout the episode as a great resource for losing weight and getting fit.

I so I have to admit, I have a thing with these websites. I've joined a bunch of them and I always quit when the initial month is done. Usually, you can pretty much exhaust everything a website has to offer in that short time. The last one I joined was Biggestloser.com and it's nutrition menus were good (if not a little high carb for my liking) but the workout part was blah. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check out Jillian's.

Day 1: I went online and visited her site. There was an offer to fill out a free evaluation and when I was done, it told me what I have known for years now. I need to eat more protein/less carbs to lose weight. They gave me a new title: Fast Oxidizer. This means that I metabolize the food (especially carbs) that I eat very quickly and if I am not burning it off, it gets stored as fat. Sounds right to me!

The website recommends a 50% protein-30% fat-20% carb ratio for my daily food intake. I am tempted to join on the spot but refrain. Although I would love to see the meals that they suggest for me, I'm a big girl and can figure out a compatible meal plan on my own. I walk away from the $20 investment.

Later I talk to Shawn about the recommendation and he looks worried.

"You're not going to start eating all those artificial sweeteners again are you?"

It's kind of funny coming from a guy who eats sugar recklessly but I know what he's saying. I assure him that I'm not going to stop eating healthy and go back to those old habits, but it couldn't hurt to try to up my protein intake.

He looked relieved. I'm not sure if he believes me yet but it's okay, really. I don't want to go back. I'd rather be a little plump-looking than sculpted and die of cancer or some other nasty disease!

Day 2: I got a couple emails from Jillian's website and one of them beckoned me to join for only $3.49/wk. Wow, that was tempting! I saved the email but decided to wait a little longer before I gave in.

Day 3: I got another couple emails and one of them had an offer that got my attention. Jillian's 30-Day Body Revolution Package which included Jillian's 30-Day Shred DVD , her newest book "Making the Cut" that I've been eyeballing for a couple months, and a month on the website for $20. I was grabbing my wallet before you could say "Gotcha".

When trying to redeem the offer, I found that this only applies to those who have a US mailing address (I do) but thankfully, you can have a Canadian billing address. This works for me even if I have to wait until I visit my Ciaramitaro relatives to pick up my stuff.

I then spend a crazy amount of time looking through the suggested meal plan and changing every meal that contains cottage cheese. I hate the stuff and it seems that every diet features it! I finally nailed down one week of meals, edited the grocery list, and printed it out. Already, I'm thinking this website is as frustrating as any other. I do my shopping two weeks at a time which I plan to do this weekend but the website only allows you to see two weeks of meals total. Since I am partway through week 1 (according to their calendar), I cannot see far enough into the future to plan & shop for week 3! I decide this is fine because usually you have tons of leftovers and unused ingredients when you do these meal plans so I can probably make it stretch for two weeks anyways.

Well, I'm ready to go shopping and begin my meal plan this Monday. Until then, I am using up what we already have and psyching myself up for the foreign recipe preparations ahead.

I will keep you posted on my 30-Day Body Revolution!

Cycling the Century

Here is every detail of my 100 mile cycling event! It's a long post but I had to recall every detail! Happy reading....

On Friday, Shawn & I dropped the kids off at their various caregivers and drove to Ann Arbour. We checked in at a hotel I had booked on Hotwire and it turned out to be great. I had delayed having dinner so we headed out to the Olive Garden to have the traditional carb-loading pasta dinner. I ate well, but avoided stuffing myself so that I would sleep good that night and I did.

I woke at 5am, started with a base layer of sunscreen & bug cream and proceeded to don my cycling outfit that included padded cycling shorts & clip-in shoes. We checked out of the hotel and charted our course for the Chelsea Fairgrounds which were 20 minutes away.

Due to time restraints I chose a McDonald's Sausage & Egg McMuffin and OJ for breakfast. I had tried a bagel w/peanut butter on a previous long-distance ride and had gotten the "shakes" within a couple hours. I wanted something with fat & protein that would stay with me. They serve simple carb foods at the registration area but I didn't even see what they were offering.

It didn't take long with Shawn's help to unload my bike, suit up with my 'tool' belt, helmet, and Ipod Shuffle and check in with registration. Once I was set he gave me a kiss goodbye and rode his motorcycle back to Windsor to work for the day. I so appreciated his help and was sad to see him go, but there was lots to distract me from feeling blue.

Every kind of bike was there. I saw couples on tandem bikes and even people in recumbent ones too. There were no children (I think there was an minimum age to participate) but there was every other age group and body type represented. It was quite a parade of pedal power!

I met up with the "friends of friends" who had inspired me to enter this event in the first place. They were planning on completing the 75 mile and were polite about my aspirations to go for the 100. I warned them that I was a slow rider and they assured me that they had trained at my average speed. I was hopeful that I wouldn't be a burden to this group after all. We set out at 7:30am.

One of the first things I noticed was the frequent road-kill. At one point, I actually rode over a dead animal simply because I was behind another cyclist and couldn't see it coming. We passed dead raccoons, rats, cats, and even a full grown deer. Where was I anyways?

I also was inspired because I passed a guy I'll call "Kevin" who had some disability (Muscular Dystrophy or MS...I wasn't sure) and he was pedalling with one leg. I wasn't passing a lot of people but I was able to pass him and as I did, he gave me a huge smile and called out "Hey!"

It wasn't even 15 minutes before I realized that my 15mph average was for flat terrain only! We were cycling a series of unending rolling hills. No sooner had we reached the bottom of one then we started another. I was keeping my average speed but that seemed to be a minimum speed for my riding companions even during the climbs up the hills. They politely waited for me at key intersections to ensure I wouldn't get lost, but I felt pressured to go faster than I could maintain so I told them to leave me behind. I knew I could still do the whole route but only if I paced myself and I wasn't afraid of being alone.
 
We separated after the first snack stop. The event coordinators had water, Gatorade and lemonade to drink and crates of banana, plums, grapes, cookies, pretzels, and animal crackers to eat. The cold, juicy fruit and potassium-filled bananas were wonderful! Everyone lined up to use the "johnny on the spots" that were available. Many people lingered with their friends but I kept my break as brief as possible because I had read that anything more than 10 minutes would allow your muscles to stiffen. I also knew I had a long journey ahead of me.
 
Without my guides, I was now responsible to watch for the pavement markings at the intersections to show me the route. So long as there were other cyclists around, I felt confident but after a while I would find myself on a stretch of foreign country road by myself wondering if I had missed a turn somewhere. Sure enough a cyclist would pass me or I'd see a marking and relief would flood through me. I didn't want to get lost!
 
When cyclists would pass they would call, "On your left!" to warn you but after a while this just got annoying to me. I was somewhat grateful to have the opportunity to call "Hello, nice day isn't it?" and have brief interaction as they swept by me. As the day wore on, they would say things like, "Me again!" or "Haven't we done this before?" Yeah, I was being perpetually passed all day. I think I only passed 3-4 people total including Kevin!
 
Our next break was at a store. Water was available via hose and so were port-a-potties which I used gratefully. I wanted to avoid a road-side elimination if I could! Again people were gathering in groups and talking so again I set out as quickly as possible. I figured out that I would soon be passed by these cyclists but if I left early, it would feel like I was in the thick of the crowd for quite a while before I was left alone again.
 
Reaching the 50 mile mark where lunch was being served was exhilarating. They had a live band playing songs that talked about "Hitting the Road Again" and other lyrics that sparked tired laughter from the cyclists. For many, this lunch spot at Portage Lake was the end of their journey. Families were reuniting and picnicking festively. For me and others, this was a fueling station for the next part of the ride. They served all the snacks from our morning stop in addition to a sandwich buffet. I ate quickly, texted Shawn to let him know how I was doing, used the facilities yet again and set out.
 
The last 50 miles was much tougher than the first. It was afternoon now and very hot. Cyclists were fewer and the mood was more somber. I had planned ahead to keep myself upbeat by reciting all the obstacles I have faced in life and how with God's help, I overcame them. I found this exercise to be very uplifting and motivating! I found myself getting emotional, overwhelmed at God's goodness towards me and knowing that if I could face all those challenges and get victory, then I could surely find the strength to finish this one.
 
I reached a country store where nothing was available to us except what they sold..not even washrooms. At this point I purchased bottled water to refill my empty thermos and set out again. I thought I overheard some cyclists talking about calling the support van for a ride back as I pedalled away...
 
It was around this time that my neck & right knee started to hurt. I took some Motrin, alternated touching my chin to each shoulder to ease the neck stiffness and tried to use my left leg more than the right for pedalling. I noticed that I was no longer being left completely alone on long stretches of road. No-one was riding with me but there was always a cyclist in sight. People were slowing down.
 
I had one bad incident around this time. I reached a 1/4 mile of rough road that forced me to ride close to the centre line. Most of the day the roads were empty of traffic and most vehicles were very courteous to us by moving completely into the opposite lane to pass even when they didn't really need to. A pickup came up behind me and the people driving must have been frustrated throughout the day because all their anger descended on me. I heard a lady scream at me to move over but the speed I was travelling at and the terrain I would have hit at the moment prevented me from reacting immediately. They had room to go around me but instead they pulled up beside me and forced me to the side of the road by pulling into my lane. I hit the bumps hard and tried to steady myself yelling out "Rough Roads!". I got yet another screaming tirade from the woman who was clearly beside herself with pent up rage and then they sped off. Other cyclists were sympathetic and shook their heads over the incident as they passed me. I felt a bit shaky over the close call but I hadn't fallen and they didn't look like they were coming back to finish me off so I relaxed. Fortunately that terrain passed quickly because after hours of riding, no-one wants to go over bumps if they don't have to!
 
At the last break around the 78 mile mark, they had all the snacks that were left over from the morning and lunch break. The fruit was less chilled but was welcome nonetheless and at this point I indulged in 4 cookies. I hoped the sugar-rush would infuse me with the energy I needed to finish. I spoke with a girl who had meant to ride a shorter distance but had missed her markings and followed riders who were doing the longer distances. I felt bad for her having to do more than she wanted to! More texting, the port-a-potty and this time some serious stretching. 22 miles was all that was left.
 
While this was physically the most painful part of the journey, I did attempt to speed myself up so that I could finish by 4pm. I just wanted to get back, enjoy the watermelon, shower and go home. My speed going uphill was 6.5 mph and I would joke with cyclists who passed me on the hills about throwing me a tow rope. I know I should have upped my gear and pedalled down the hills but I gave that up early in the day and used the long, speedy declines to rest & stretch my legs.
 

I noticed more and more cyclists stopped by the side of the road stretching, resting, and conversing. I didn't want to stop at all because I just wanted to be done and didn't want to prolong the journey another minute more than was necessary. Maybe I would have felt differently if I was with someone else. My right leg really started to hurt again but I told it to be quiet and ignored the pain. How could I give up when I was so close to the finish? I counted off the miles one by one as they passed. 13, 12, 11....3, 2, 1...

 

Pulling into the fairground and getting off that bike was wonderful! Fellow riders were offering weak congratulations to each other and I got a few. It was a bit anticlimactic because most of the riders had come and gone and there was no crowd, cheering or announcements as people finished. It wasn't that kind of event. Personal achievement only. The parking lot that had been teeming with cars was now mostly empty. I checked my bike meter and I had completed 7.5 hours of riding at an average of 13.5mph plus one hour for the lunch and four breaks. 8.5 hours total! That's painfully slow to the experienced, trained rider but it was pretty much what I had expected to perform.

 

I knew I was in trouble when I had to hobble over to the watermelon tent, but that was the best H2O melon I ever had! Everyone was greedily going back for piece after piece and tossing the rinds into garbage bags labelled "Food for the Pigs". Those pigs were going to have a watermelon rind feast tonight!

 
I texted Shawn for the last time to tell him I was done and headed for my van. I locked my bike inside and headed for the showers. They were empty by now so I had all the time I needed to shampoo and survey the damage. I had a rash on the tops of my legs that I still don't know what it was--allergy to detergent, heat rash, sun damage through the shorts? No idea. I was sunburned on the tops of my knees and backs of my shoulders even with the sunscreen I used. I felt like a wreck, but a happy one!
 
Driving home was a challenge. I expected to be tired but I wasn't. Instead, I was struggling with being able to push the gas and the brake so I put the vehicle into cruise control at a speed that minimized the need to keep braking around other cars. I had a long chat with the border guard about my adventure that day before he waved me through and I was ever so glad to be home again! Shawn helped me when I got home by unloading the van and assisting me so that I didn't have to move more than necessary. I iced the knees before bed and popped a couple Motrin. When I woke the next morning, I felt much better!
 
Well, it's been a couple days now and my legs are almost back to normal. I really enjoyed this event and would do it again, hopefully with some friends of my own next time! I think the Ann Arbour Cycling Club did a wonderful job marking the routes and organizing them so that all the riders in the varying distance groups could mingle together at rest stops. I also appreciated the timing of the breaks and the quality of the refreshments that were offered. Everything was exactly as it was promised to be. Very well organized!

Cycling Evolution

Honestly, when I asked for a new bike for my birthday this year, I had no idea that I would find myself fast-tracking towards a century ride a month later! A leisurely ride to Laurier Park to see the set-up of the Strawberry Festival where I discovered that Trysten had outgrown his bike and was the perfect fit for my "old" bike was the trigger to this whole chain of events.

The very next day I had my new race bike in my favorite colour "Cranberry Red". I had selected it because I wanted a serious bike for future, then unknown, athletic events. I still had no clue how quickly an event would come along!

It wasn't until the eve of my 40th birthday that the specific challenge to ride a 100 miles was thrown down and I couldn't resist saying yes.

From that time I have tried to ride every day to/from work and with my family. This escalated to a 50+ mile ride on Canada Day where I rode from my home in LaSalle to Amherstburg to Colchester to Kingsville to Leamington and again later at Point Pelee.

Since that day I have ridden very little. I've done a couple trips to work & back to keep myself adjusted to the saddle, but with such short recovery time after the July 1st ride, I need to make sure my muscles have recuperated fully.

In this compressed training time I have learned a lot about "serious" riding and have done my best to assimilate and execute my new knowledge. Here are some tidbits of technical info that I picked up:

1) You're supposed to have more than one bike
It appears that serious cyclists have many bikes and the bike store owners capitalize on this. I've heard about two bike enthusiasts in the past couple weeks who own 15+ bikes each! When I was debating what kind of bike to buy they assumed I was keeping my mountain bike and encouraged me not to worry about the limitations a racing bike may have. They couldn't grasp someone only having one bike and needing that one bike to do everything. Shawn too was concerned that my racing bike wouldn't be appropriate for our family rides. We ended up finding a race bike that I feel very comfortable on and works fine for all the kinds of rides I do--specifically pavement riding. I never liked gravel or dirt trails anyways!

2) You gotta be careful what you put on a "serious" race bike.
Shawn told me that it was the law that every bike have a bell. On a tune-up visit to Courtesy Bikes I asked John, the owner, to install a bell on my new bike. The look he gave me was incredulous.

"You're gonna put a bell on this bike?" he asks me in a tone that dared me to try and make him.

"Isn't it the law?" I said in a defensive, high-pitched nervous tone that I hate.

"Yes," he admits, "but no police officer is going to write you a ticket for not having one unless you are being a jerk and he's looking for something to book you on."

The point made is that you don't put anything but a bike meter on a "real" racing bike. Shawn installed a light but I think John would have frowned on that one too. The reasoning is that you want the bike to be as light weight as possible for races and you don't want to clutter & weigh down your bike with accessories.

3) Keep your chin tucked in
My 50+ mile ride to Leamington taught me many things in preparation for my century ride. After a few hours I noticed my neck starting to ache and realized quickly that it was because I was holding it out of line with my body in an effort to see the road in front of me. If I tucked my chin and used my eyes to look upward & forward, my helmet blocked my view. Fortunately, the visor piece that was doing this was easily removed from my helmet but I still find that I have to remind myself to tuck in that chin!

4) Tilt seat up not down
Saddle issues have emerged in the wake of my more frequent riding. Heat & pressure build up and at one point on my long ride I literally went off the road because I was distracted by my wiggling and readjusting to find a more comfortable position. Afterwards I took John's advise and readjusted my seat to tilt up slightly in the front instead of down. Mistakenly, I had thought tilting it down would alleviate pressure in crotch area and while down in my drops it seemed to but when I sat upright later in the ride, the position of the seat restricted me from sitting up properly. This resulted in a lot of discomfort and a sore lower back! I think it also put more of my body weight into my arms which resulted in numb hands.

5) Spinning
Another thing John took issue with was that my bike was in it's highest gear. I admitted to him that I have a tendency to put my bike in the hardest gear and just pedal at whatever pace feels best to me...usually quite slow! More attitude from John. I already know spinning at a lower gear is better...yada..yada..yada...but I kind of like my way better. He regales me with the multiple reasons why it is better to be in a lower gear, spinning fast. Supposedly it will help me go faster, protect my knees from injury, build up my strength, keep my legs muscles from burning out quickly and trim down my figure. Wait! Did he just suggest that my figure needs trimming? He must have seen something flash in my eyes because he backpedalled and used charming humour to soften the comment. He gets away with this because he's an expert and he's right. Plus, my knees hurt. I've been practising "spinning" ever since. You spin as fast as you can at a lower gear and only go up in gear if your butt starts bouncing out of the saddle.

6) Gear shifting
I don't know where I heard this one. I think it was Michelle Vaughan. Anyways, supposedly as you approach a stop you are supposed to gear down so that when you begin pedalling again, you don't have to push real hard and get out of your saddle to get going. I've experienced this quite a bit in light of my previous high gear habit and it is hard on the knees. I've been practising gearing down for stops and find it to be quite natural now.

7) Signalling
While training for my triathlon a couple years ago I was advised politely to begin signalling. I hadn't done this since grade school. I figured with all the road riding I was doing, I should signal appropriately. It was a couple days before Shawn joined me on a work commute and noticed that I had my left/right signals mixed up. How embarrassing!!! I wonder how many drivers I enraged.

Stay tuned for more cycling wisdom in later blogs!

7 Month Update

I am thrilled and even a little surprised that this whole "Healthy Choices" blog idea is still happening. It's been 7 months and 85+ blogs! Who knew I had so much to say?

The blogging idea came in the wake of the Julie & Julia movie that was based on one woman's blog as she made every recipe in a Julia Child's recipe book. Then a friend of mine started a blog about her dieting. It was then that I thought, "I could do that!"

I was making some defining decisions about my lifestyle habits and was feeling intensely isolated. I figured that blogging about my experiences would ease my lonliness and give purpose to otherwise unnoticable and seemingly insignificant decisions day to day. It has. Friends have read and commented on my writings and just knowing that I may have an audience has made it so much more easier to do the right thing and stay on track. A few core people have cheered me on the whole way--even though the new year is long past and most people's interest in self discipline has waned.

I've gone back over my blogs and here is an update on some of the earlier topics:

Juice It Baby & Juice Anyone? & Beverage Babble-My fabulous kitchen-counter friendly juicer has recently been bannished to a cupboard and my juicing is currently 1-2x a week. I never "manned up" to all vegetable juice and my current favorite is Lemonaide sweetened with apples or pears. Freshly made juice is my substitute for pop and is more of a treat than a daily nutritional food. Still love my morning cocoa!

Nana, I Love You!-Haven't been to Nana's for months now. Been baking my own treats but I've been craving a Yuckie and Cherry Turnover so I may be visiting there soon.

Rubber Tippie-Still keeping my gums healthy. Looks like this habit has become second nature!

The Big C-Still caffeine free!

One Good Day & On a Roll-I have to confess that I have not succeeded at consistantly getting up early enough to have my quiet time. God kept His part of the bargain and has helped me find another way to get my exercise in, but instead of using my early morning exercise time for quiet time--I've been sleeping in. I want to work on this.

Water, Water, Water & Water System Wars-We're really happy with our water system but we need to get it tested to see how effective it is and if it needs a filter change. I'm embarrased to say that I still drink about half of the amount of water I should every day even with abstaining from coffee & pop. I'll be working on this.

Garden Giddy-My garden is growing steadily and despite my care to not overplant, the ground is barely visible with all the green leaves and vines intertwining together. I planted red & greeen peppers, plum tomatoes, brussel sprouts, green beans, peas, cucumbers, and strawberries. So far I have harvested 6 cucumbers but the peppers and tomatoes will be ready very soon. These are likely the most expensive vegetables ever if you count materials and labor, but they taste the best!

Supplemental Surprise & Supplemental Satisfaction-We are still taking our vitamins. The phytonutrient is a bit tricky because it has to be consumed on an empty stomach, minimum 20 minutes before eating. This has not been feasible with us waking later and needing to dive right into breakfast. The multi and the fish oil work well because they can be eaten with food.

Week of the Journal-I'm still journalling. At first I was filling out every single nutrient and that was crazy. Now I just track calories, water, and exercise for the most part. I have an arrangement with a girlfriend to scan & email my journal to her and it makes a big difference to know someone is actually going to look at it.

Agave Love & I Like, I Don't Like-My family has successfully transitioned to Agave Syrup and I've found it to be much less expensive at the US Costco. They sell two bottles for the price of one at the Superstore. Such a deal!

Raw Energy-I am still making recipes out of this cookbook. It is my fav. Of course I make the almond milk but it has all these great cookie and square recipes that I always end up making into "balls". I have a small scoop and no matter what the recipe, I find it easier to scoop it into balls instead of pressing into a pan and trying to cut into squares. I have a freezer full of every kind of nut/cocoa/date/fruit ball you can imagine! The latest is a carob, almond butter, dried cranberry combination that tasted hideous at first. A real recipe failure that cost a fortune to make. I didn't throw it away though and I'm glad because after trying a couple frozen ones after dinner tonight, I found the taste kind of grows on you. Weird, but true!

Hungry at Work & Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail-I stocked my office fridge with some Kashi bars, a package of sourdough crisp bread and some natural peanut butter. I found that I would reach for the bars but the crisp bread & peanut butter went untouched for weeks. Just as I was beginning to doubt the wisdom of keeping those foods around, I got really hungry (non-sufficient lunch) and was really glad to reach for the crispbread & peanut butter. When you're truely hungry, you will eat what's available--glad it was something nutritious!

Didn't see an update on your favorite blog topic? Let me know and I'll be happy to 'fess up!

Gotcha!

Even as I type this blog I am devouring a couple...no a few...deliciously healthy "Dark Chocolate Omega 3 Flaxseed" cookies by Voortman. Yummm!

I came across samples of them at Costco when I was shopping. Just as I was about to turn my head and keep on walking my eyes caught the words "Dark Chocolate" and "Flaxseed" so I stopped for a closer look.

Could it be healthy? Not to be tricked again as I was with the Chocolate covered Pomegranate scenario, I turned the package over. 70% dark chocolate. Brown sugar is 5th on the list of ingredients and a few other sugars later down the list. No artificial sweeteners. Has flaxseed.

I did the taste test. Chewy, yummy, and a little crunchy but not overly sweet. This would make a good treat and even though it has some sugar in it, I decided that it falls into the "sugar that helps me eat something nutritious" category that I occasionally make exceptions for.

Was I deceiving myself? I offered samples to my family and they scornfully declined. Definitely healthy! I picked up a box and decided to see how it went. It's been a few days and I have found that I do have to watch myself because they are very tasty and could easily be overeaten or chosen instead of something more nutritious...like fruit. Saving them for the end of the day helps me to make sure I get more nutritious foods in beforehand. The flaxseeds tend to get stuck in my teeth so that can be a little awkward if I'm not eating alone.

So, if you're too busy to bake and are looking for something to add to lunches or have after supper, I vote for these convenient cookies. Let me know how you like them!

Okay...STOP!

I changed my mind. These cookies are dangerous because they are too yummy for me. I have had to refrain from buying them because they reside in that grey area of "too healthy for my family to enjoy but too treat-like for me".
Sad folks, but when I go back day after day until the package is devoured--it's a problem.

I recently had another experience like this with a food item I found at the US Costco called Sunrise Energy Bars with Omega-3. These were a cross between a cookie and granola bar that my family wouldn't touch but I couldn't get enough of. Brown sugar was 17th on the list of wholesome & natural ingredients but it shouted loud and clear every day until the package was finished.

I had to let it go.

So, if you are climbing the ladder towards health and these food items challenge you to put down less healthy cookies & treats, then enjoy. I have to beware of anything that is tastier than a Kashi Bar or my natural inclination to push aside healthier foods takes over. I am a bit suspicious of any processed food that tastes too good to be true and encourages addiction. We have all heard that food labelling can be manipulated. I believe it.