The Plan

During my search for group exercise classes in my three favorite activities, I inadvertently set a plan of action that will help me achieve some goals I set a couple years back. I am currently involved in a running clinic that will help me achieve the standard triathlon running distance of 10K. Ever since my first 5K I have wanted to run an official 10K event.

After my first triathlon, I had decided that I would like to do another one but with a "real" racing bike and after having some swimming lessons. I got the real racing bike this year for my birthday so that part is done, but there was still the issue of honing my swim skills so I don't have another near drowning experience.

I saw a Saturday 6am swim practise at St. Clair that I could see myself using as a training option. There is a swim coach on deck that you can consult with. All the practise in the world won't help me improve if I don't get some instruction on proper form & swim technique so I have decided to use my Christmas gift allowance for private swim lessons. This way I can practise what I am taught during my swim lessons. Sounds like a plan.

Sometime next April the Running Factory will offer their annual running training which is designed to help learn-to-run graduates increase their strength & speed which will decrease their running time. I have thought that this would be an excellent way to get back into running after the winter months.

I'm not sure if I will join an official cycling club or just train on my own, but I plan on getting lots of riding time in too.

If all goes according to speculation, I will be ready to enter a full-length triathlon next summer. That is if I can find an event that is on a Saturday. This can be a challenge since the favored day for hosting such events is usually Sunday. I have made a commitment not to participate in fitness events on Sunday because of my desire to honor God on that day and attend worship at my church. There are not many events on Saturdays but I will look and if I can find one, that will be the one I participate in.

So next year I will be repeating the century ride, running a 10K and a full-length triathlon if I can find one! That's the goal I'm working towards. Should keep me plenty busy and give me lots of reason to get in the pool, lace up to run, and pedal that bike!

Homework

Not only have I committed to meeting a group of runners on a weekly basis but apparently, I have homework that needs to be done twice a week to ensure the success of my clinic experience. Two independent running sessions that duplicate the time set at the group class. This for the girl who makes it a rule not to run more than twice a week.

My first practise run was scheduled for Wednesday. I was still experiencing post-workout soreness from Monday and it was so intense that I tried to wake up TWICE that morning and had to return to bed both times. The head to toe ache made me think that I had come down with a virus and needed to rest.

On my third attempt to rise, I was moving slow. I was behind schedule and trying to prepare for a long day, first at work and then later teaching a financial class at church. I figured that having lost my early morning jump on exercising, I had lost my chance to "do my homework" and wouldn't be able to fit that 25 minute run in like I planned.

I'm not sure when I decided that I was not going to leave for work until I had completed my fitness obligation but I walked my kid's to the bus stop, kissed them, and set out for my run. It was now raining and Milo, who is usually ecstatic to be my partner, was not enthused about getting wet. I wasn't either but we were going to face this challenge, shower, and get on with our day.

It wasn't easy. Every step hurt. Because of the rain, there was no-one else out on the trail at all. I was amazed that I could keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward, but I did. Before I knew it, my timer alerted me to turn around and head towards home for the last 12.5 minutes. Milo was much more excited about that and I admit, so was I. As a result, our pace quickened slightly and it didn't hurt quite so bad.

When it was over, I felt so good. I knew that this 2nd workout was a hurtle and that running this season would likely not be as uncomfortable as it was during this session. I went on with my day feeling strong, successful and more sure of my impulsive decision to join the running clinic.

Today, Saturday, was my last homework assignment for this week. Again, my early rising plans were foiled due to a late social evening, but I headed out after a day of grocery shopping with the family. Milo had been couped up all day and was glad to be outside. Shawn laced up his Rollerblades and accompanied me.

I wasn't as sore but I worked pretty hard trying to keep the pace that Shawn & Milo were setting. I couldn't speak except to gasp out the occasional answer to Shawn's questions. The reward was that I was able to cover more distance this time around. It was over quickly and it felt good. Shawn even complimented me on my running ability and that felt great too.

Week one is officially over and I am ready for Monday's group run feeling much more confident. The running time is going to increase to 28 minutes and this time I am going to bring my Ipod shuffle and show up on time! I'll tell you how it goes.

Running Factory-Week One

I woke up this morning (Mon) with no idea that I was going to sign up for the Learn to Run program at the Running Factory. I knew I needed to find something...anything... that would indulge my enjoyment of fitness in a social setting.

I browsed cycling clubs, swimming clubs and finally running clubs. I found some good leads for all three but when I saw that the running clinic that I had wanted to join for a couple years was starting...gulp..on this very day, I knew I had to do it. I decided this by 8:30am just before leaving for work!

I knew I had made the right decision because all day I felt excited and well...hopeful. I was going to be joining a group of people who were all there to run and get better at running.

I called the store to ask a few qualifying questions. The gentleman on the phone asked about my running history and sounded like this learn to run program may be a little too basic for me. I assured him that I hadn't run for a while so he suggested that I take level four. Oh, there's different levels? This I had not known and it sounded good. Level four, he explained, is where runners work up to running an hour straight. This sounded perfect for me.

After work I came home at my usual time and had an hour to get the mail, make supper, eat, check the kid's chores and school agendas. We ate a modest supper of sandwiches and I had plenty of time to change and head out the door. That's when things started spiralling out of control.

First, I never bothered to write down the address and I was guilty of being too dependant on my GPS which failed me miserably. Apparently, The Running Factory doesn't exist in GPS-land. It searched and searched and searched but it couldn't find any Running Factory anywhere. I drove in the general direction I thought it was and I would have stopped to enter the address...if I had bothered to bring it!

Somehow, my memory guided me to the store's location (albeit not the most direct route) and I was faced with a new challenge. Parking. Cars were jammed into the tiny store lot and blocking each other in. Another person squeezed their car into the last possible space (the driveway) so I went around the block looking for somewhere to leave my car. I settled on the lot across the street that had a "For Sale/Lease" sign and hoped I wouldn't be towed by some irate business owner while I was out running around.

Just as I entered the store the people gathered there were heading outside. I found out that instead of being 10 minutes late, I was actually a full half hour late. I felt better when another girl came up beside me saying that she too thought it started at 6:30pm and not the 6:15pm listed on the website and materials. Sometimes I wonder that I can actually tell time, never mind read.

I literally dropped my stuff on the store floor and chased the group outside. Fortunately our group leader was holding up four fingers and I was able to count them so I made my way over. We exchanged a few pleasantries and then began to walk down Prado street. It seemed like we had only been walking 30 seconds before the word came back that it was time to run. I started to jog and asked one of the three instructors how long this first run was going to be.

"25 minutes" he said, "and there's only one run in this group."

What? My mind tilted. I thought learn to run programs did a walk-jog combination until you gradually were running the whole time. That's what I signed up for. Groups 1-3 do this but not group 4. No, group 4 starts at a full 25 minute run and works up from there with solid runs week after week. I admit, I panicked. I've been lazy with my pace and I can't remember the last time I ran for 25 consecutive minutes. Maybe the triathlon a couple years ago? Oh, this was going to be bad.

I had no choice. I wasn't going to be the girl who thought she could do level four and had to be sent back to level three instead. Yup, it was pride. I thought about all the physical activity I do and decided that although the next 25 minutes was going to be uncomfortable, I was capable. There's a big difference between the two!

I wasn't the slowest but I was far behind the fastest. One of the group leaders settled into pace beside me and kept me company while I endured. Everything in me wanted to ask, "How much longer?" about twenty times and I wanted to walk very badly but I had to keep going.

I was so happy when that miserable 25 minutes was over! I would never have pushed myself to do that on my own. One of the group leaders took a look at me at the end of the run and commented that I was working too hard. Very observant! I felt like my head was going to blow up and I was gasping for air. I told him I wasn't expecting such a long run on the very first night but that I'm very active so I thought I could handle it. I'm always trying to do more than is "safe" or comfortable...something challenging. This definitely fit.

I don't know why running is so hard for me when there are many other activities I can do for hours on end but in this next nine weeks, I am going to push myself past the cozy, lackadaisical limits that I've settled into when it comes to this discipline. I definitely did that tonight. My stomach was churning precariously and my ears got real hot on the drive home. It was a wonderful feeling that I haven't experienced since training to teach BodyStep years ago. Limits expand as you push them and I haven't been pushing very hard to be honest.

Apparently they expect you to repeat this ritual twice during the week on your own. Hmmm...does anybody want to go for a run?

Stepping Out

I have been thinking about joining a fitness group or club (not a gym) for a while and this morning while researching what is available in the community I discovered that the Running Factory's Learn to Run clinic was beginning today. I just knew that I had to sign up and do what I have been longing to do for a couple years now.

I'm not sure exactly why I waited so long. There are all the usual obstacles. Money is a big one because we live on a fairly tight budget. I have a home gym so it seemed unreasonable to pay to do something I could easily do on my own at home. It'll take 3 weeks of my discretionary spending money to pay for the 9 week clinic, but for the first time ever, I felt it was worth every penny.

Then there is time. Working full-time, making supper, raising a family, trying to do renovations, volunteering, and all the other things on the to-do list made the trek across town once a week feel like a total waste...especially since I have a great trail right outside my doorstep.

Finally, there are the mindsets. I used to be a fitness instructor and a personal trainer. I've run a 5K and did it again when I completed a triathlon a couple years ago. This summer I rode 100 miles in one day. I don't need any more head knowledge and I'm certainly capable of the physical activity. Why would I want to pay or take extra time for something I can do on my own?

The answer isn't really a logical one from my perspective. It's emotional. There was something intangible, but very real about making a commitment to a 9 week program and that one solid appointment every week. Being in a group with other people who are united in purpose and feeling the camaraderie that results from achieving a common goal. The pace is set by those who are experienced and any temptation to "just take it easy" goes out the window when your performance is being monitored by others. I also liked not having be responsible or in charge. No-one was asking me how to eat or exercise right and if I don't show up for a couple of the sessions for some reason or another...the show will go on without me. It's an odd relief.

I have felt more excited today than I have felt since completing my century ride in July. I loved my first clinic session and have realized that I need to have at least one group "something" involving fitness every week in my life to motivate, energize and hopefully contribute to the positive experience enjoyed by all who workout along side me.

If you've always wanted to get out there and do something outside your comfy "box", it's not too late to join in. Don't wait too long or you will certainly reason yourself out of taking the first step.
http://www.runningfactory.com/

Breaking the Rule

A long time ago I learned that I have a natural and very persistent urge to sample anything that I take the time to bake and it is strongest in the first hour after it comes out of the oven. Why wouldn't one want to taste the fruit of their labour? I came to terms with this and decided that I wouldn't spend my valuable time making anything that was going to deter me from my health & fitness goals. Bake what is going to assist and nourish me, and if necessary, buy at the store what my family insisted on consuming that doesn't help at all.

This rule works for me when I don't break it. Raw, natural, and otherwise healthy baked goods I can spend hours on and enjoy. The other stuff can come home in a bag or a box and go in the cupboard, freezer, or cold storage without me having to touch, smell or otherwise handle it in any way.

This week I went against this natural law and suffered the penalty for it.

My children launched a campaign to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies. They started with "Remember?" questions that went like this:

"Remember those chocolate chip cookies mom used to make?"

"Remember when she made us wear a scarf over our mouth so we wouldn't breath germs on the cookie dough" (Okay, we were making them as Christmas gifts so I wasn't taking any chances!)

"Remember when mom let us mix the dough with our hands?" (After a thorough washing, I promise!)

Then they started getting serious:

"Mom, are you ever going to make cookies with us again?"

"Those cookies tasted so good"

"That cookie recipe is the best one ever"

In the store they excitedly pointed out the massive bag of chocolate chips and I don't know what happened. Suddenly this force took over my body and I heard the words, "Go ahead and put them in the cart" come out of my mouth. That's what if felt like anyways. In actuality, I chose to listen to the conflicting voice inside me that says a mother's love means indulging your children now and then.

My kids were equally incredulous and they practically tripped over themselves to get the bag before I changed my mind. I almost did. I wanted to, but I knew that it would be beyond cruel to back out after I had raised their hopes.

Once home, the chocolate chips went into the cold storage and I hoped that the family would forget they were there. No. The chocolate chip cookie questions, statements and innuendos continued until finally I decided that we would make a big batch and get this over with. Trysten & Paris were elated.

We doubled the recipe and I helped the kids assemble the ingredients but I made them handle the dough. I didn't get involved until the hot trays needed to be taken from the oven and the cookies carefully lifted off in their molten state to be put on the plate. Big mistake. The mix of brown sugar, butter, vanilla, walnuts, coconut and chocolate chips was beyond intoxicating.

My children wanted to take platefuls around to the families in our neighborhood. This was a monumental event for them and they wanted to share the experience. These are the best cookies after all! They had my blessing because I just wanted them to be gone as quickly as possible.

While they were outside bestowing their baked goods to the hungry neighbourhood children and their equally interested parents, I was left alone in the kitchen. I was overwhelmed by desire for these cookies and before I knew it I ate three. I wish I could say that they tasted horrible to me and made me feel dreadfully sick but they didn't. They tasted wonderful.  Sorry, it really is a great cookie recipe! I thought about you all reading about this indiscretion in my blog but at the moment, I didn't care.

Having said no to a lot of sweets this year, I wondered why it was so hard to say no to these warm, gooey treats. That's when I remembered that I had been untrue to my own rule and I hadn't been tempted before this because this was the first time this year that I had made this recipe. I had sabotaged myself.

Shawn saw me packaging the leftover cookies later that evening and offered to help put them away. They were safely rested in the freezer and my family has been enjoying them daily. They haven't had any pull over me at all since that first hour out of the oven. In trying to decide how I could handle the situation better next time I had all sorts of options.

1) I could have not succumbed to the cookie campaign and said no to the chocolate chips in the first place
2) I could have helped the kids assemble the cookies and had dad take them out of the oven while I either left the house or kept occupied (perhaps tied up in the basement?)
3) I could hire a babysitter and have her make the cookies with my children (I have done this before)

Sometimes you need to know where you are weak or broken and build a wall of protection around that area so that temptation doesn't unnecessarily overcome you. I'd love to say that I have built up incredible will power that makes me immune to my own freshly baked chocolate chip cookies but we all know now that that is simply not the truth. I can say no to those cookies before they are made or after they have passed the "freshly baked" stage so I just need to make sure I don't go there.

Its been many days now and I suffered the consequences of sugar cravings the day following the cookie episode. I didn't allow myself to wallow in guilt over it but it was harder to make good choices after I had let down my own standard. Once you cross a line you have to decide if you are going to keep going in that direction or turn around and walk away. Walk away.

Conscious Competence

During a lunch discussion with my mother she shared that she had recently heard one of the best arguments for keeping a food & exercise journal. Since I attempt to keep a regular log of my food intake and physical activities and was just resuming this discipline after a couple weeks of neglect, I was interested to hear a persuading reason that would motivate me to continue.

What would you think about about boarding a plane and having the pilot announce that on this flight he had opted not to do his routine check of the instruments and had decided that he wouldn't use the guiding instruments at all? Would you feel confident that you would arrive at your destination, never mind safely or on time?

How would you be able to manage a regular work day without the aid of your watch, clocks, day timer schedule or any other tracking devices that assist you with time management? How likely would you be to remember your appointments and arrive precisely on time for them?

My mom recalled several other examples that were made along this premise. I was intrigued because even though I subscribe to the success of tracking my nutritional and exercise choices, I've always born a sense of shame for needing to do so. I guess it was because there are so many people who are naturally thin and don't need to watch the amounts of food they eat or ensure that they burn enough calories to maintain a healthy weight.

Experiencing a measure of competence using this method of tracking, I have experienced the curiosity and dismay of people who view this behaviour as somewhat obsessive compulsive. There is an underlying expectation that this is not part of normal existence and that one shouldn't need to plot their course when it comes to this part of your life. Yet it is perfectly acceptable, even expected, to do so in other areas.

How likely are you to let a brain surgeon fly by the seat of his pants, go with the flow, and guess while conducting brain surgery....on you? Wouldn't you want a surgeon who was a perfectionist while performing such an intricate procedure?

Sure enough, eating on a day to day basis is not brain surgery, but if you have health, weight-loss or maintenance goals and you have a tendency to stray off course--then using accurate tools, measures, and tracking systems to guide your behaviour is not only important, it's vital.

Icy Solution

In the past couple months I have stopped making almond milk as my attention was diverted to other activities. I prefer it to cow's milk but the 3-day fridge life demanded that I monitor the soaking, peeling, blending, storage and usage with a precision that is difficult to maintain. I'm more of a "make a big batch and freeze it for when you need it" kind of girl.

Ironically enough, this was the exact solution to my dilemma. Typically I would make a batch of almond milk and if I didn't use up the milk within the 3 days, I would freeze it and use it for ice cream. Why it took so long for me to realize that I could also use the cubes for my daily hot cocoa or smoothies, I have no idea.

This time when I went through the process of almond milk making I did a double batch and froze it all in cube trays immediately. Now this milk is ready for me whenever I need it and I can delay the extensive preparation for weeks instead of days. In the ever-changing seasons of my life, I can be sure that this food will fit permanently into my schedule.

It's a big solution to a seemingly insignificant problem. It reminds me that no matter how impossible it may seem to make better choices, if you really want to make something work, you will find a way.

The Harvest

With autumn weather sweeping in with a sharp abruptness that feels as chilly as the air outside, I found myself surveying my garden and what is left of the ripening vegetables. Picking this late summer harvest and noticing that there is yet still unripened fruit on the vines gives me hope that this season may tarry just a little bit longer..

I planted less square footage this year than in years past but almost every plant

thrived and yielded produce beyond my expectations. We have enjoyed bowl upon bowl of homemade tabbouleh & salsa from the one parsley and 2 Roma tomato plants I put in. I literally picked my whole parsley plant clean a few weeks ago and was able to pick enough for another tabbouleh salad today! Same goes for the never-ending Greek salad bowl that was fuelled with my tomatoes & cucumbers. I planted two pepper plants and after three batches of stuffed peppers I still have a huge bowlful of shiny green peppers to transform into this tasty dish. The green beans are finished now but while they were producing I got two huge potfuls of this favorite dinnertime vegetable. My four Brussel sprout plants are just getting ready to present their sprouts for picking now. Mmmm...steamed Brussel sprouts with butter & salt. Yum.

 

Sheri, our renter, left us and her small section of garden behind to go back to school in Sarnia. Most of her plants were done with their contributions but her beefsteak tomatoes are still growing rapidly. I have already made a huge potful of homemade marinara sauce and have enough to make another pot today.



The only disappointments were the strawberries and peas. The strawberry plants blossomed beautifully but the plump, juicy berries were nibbled on or completely stolen by a renegade squirrel so we didn't get to enjoy them. Next year we plan on hanging those plants where wildlife is unable to reach them. The peas were an afterthought and I should have given them something to climb. One plant that grew and intertwined with my wire fence did exceptionally well.

Shawn mentioned that he noticed I haven't been using my juicer recently and at first I felt a twinge of guilt. Had I purchased this appliance and quickly lost interest as I have in the past? It wasn't until some days later that I realized that the slowing of my juicing and blending had corresponded with the weeks of harvesting my garden vegetables. The energy I used to apply to regular juicing was now being used to pluck, clean, and prepare these wonderful veggies into culinary delights. It is one thing to plant, weed, water and pick and another altogether to ensure that the abundant food does not go to waste!

I feel a little sad at the thought of this season coming to an end. Soon the plants will be shrivelled up and my garden plot will be covered with leaves first and then snow. I will have to go back to the market where I typically purchase my fresh produce but it will not feel the same.

I have already jotted notes down for next year and have plans to expand my garden in years to come. I would have appreciated having my own cilantro for the salsa, green onions for the tabbouleh and red onions for the Greek salad. The blueberry & raspberry bushes and the pear tree I planted this spring may also yield its fruit in the years to come and we look forward to more summers of healthy, organic foods from our own back yard.

Heart Motivation

I admit that my focus on a healthful lifestyle this year and it's very significant impact on my decisions may appear to be almost unhealthy or compulsive to the average person. More than once I have had feedback from individuals that made me evaluate my heart and motives and question why I do what I do.

In the past, my sole motivation for eating & exercising was to lose weight. I wanted to get as thin as I could so I could feel attractive and accepted. I was able to achieve this but as I mentioned in previous blogs--I did this at the expense of my long-term health. I did achieve the feelings of attractiveness and acceptance I was looking for but it very quickly began to feel more like a prison than the pinnacle of success it appeared to be. I was terrified of gaining back any weight for fear of people's judgement.

"Have you seen Melissa? What happened? She was so thin & fit. Looks like someone isn't exercising enough...or maybe she's letting her eating get out of control..."

The fear of being talked about or falling off the pedestal I'd fought to stand on was almost worse than not having stood on it at all.

As I mentioned in my very first blog, "The Beginning", I had a significant spiritual experience with God that was the key to unlocking the prison I had deliberately locked myself in. Health, not weight-loss, became my motivation. This was not an immediate transformation but more a concept that was was conceived in my heart and has steadily grown.

To many, my current fascination with building healthy behaviours and getting rid of toxic ones may seem just as prison-like but I assure you that in this case, it is not. My optimal health is not something that people can see and judge. It is not a measure by which people can assess my worth as a human being. You will not find my dramatic health transformation in any magazine and there is no guarantee that I will not succumb to an untimely death just because I took the time to take care of myself. Sometimes I even wonder if anything I've done this past year has made a difference at all!

I do admit that I struggled quite a bit with making the shift between trying to be perfect and just deciding to be obedient to the principles of health. In the year before I began this blog I had given up once again on my efforts to give up caffeine. I had made some great changes in other areas so I decided that maybe I was just trying too hard to be perfect and that I should just give myself permission to have a few bad habits.

I felt like I was betraying the revelation I had received from the Holy Spirit during my 1st encounter weekend but my efforts to change weren't working and I was beginning to think maybe I had imagined the whole thing in my head. Having caffeine, sugar or artificial sweetener isn't a sin and maybe I was being compulsive in denying myself the pleasure of a coffee or diet soda. It felt bad at the time but every time I felt that voice saying, "Melissa, you shouldn't be eating or drinking that..." I would mentally turn it off. I had given up.

It was during that year that I experienced some emotional difficulties. I spoke with my doctor about my struggles and she suggested some treatments that I wasn't thrilled about. During my prayer time over these issues I was reminded of my previous partial hysterectomy and the effect that could be having on my emotional stability. I requested that my doctor do a blood test first and if hormones were not a factor, then I would proceed with her recommendations. She looked skeptical at my theory but did the blood test to appease me. When the results came back, I was indeed in the midst of menopause as I suspected.

Not being one to use this condition as an excuse, I began to research holistic ways to manage menopausal symptoms. I found some positive suggestions that included using Wild Yam Cream instead of traditional hormone replacement therapy but I also found that a healthy lifestyle can make a huge difference. Sure enough, a few of the healthy recommendations included eliminating caffeine, sugar, artificial sweeteners and white, processed flour from the diet. Drink more water. Exercise. Supplement. All the things we know we are supposed to do and don't.

It was then that the connection between what the Holy Spirit had been whispering to me and a proper heart motivation was made. I could endeavor to make these changes not out of the compulsion of trying to be perfect but out of a realization that God knows our bodies and what is best for us. Who better to advise us than the one who made us and knows what we need more than we do? Wisdom speaks to us every day but we rarely listen and many times if we do there is frustration because we do not understand the purpose. Healing, not perfection, is the goal.

So today, when I go out with my family and opt not to have the coffee, soda, ice cream, donuts or other treats it is not because I hate my body, feel the compulsion to abuse myself, or a desire to be perfect. No. It is because I have come to realize that these things are not good for me and I have come to accept that I will be happier, healthier and more healed if I choose not to have them.

It is a significant difference that only I truly know. To the person observing it all looks the same. I still struggle sometimes with the old motivations in my heart but they do not have the grip they used to have. In truth, they didn't have much strength anyway and often gave way to temptation. This new, purer motivation is much more effective in producing real, long-term, successful change than I have ever experienced in the past.

I still struggle sometimes. God is still working on me. Health is much more than food & exercise. Recently, the Holy Spirit has been whispering to me about other heart motivations and issues that have nothing to do with nutrition or fitness but have everything to do with healing and wholeness. I am encouraged because when you listen in one area, it often makes it easier to listen in another. It may look the same on the outside but inside, it's all new and abundantly more powerful.

"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Wacky Moles

One challenge I have faced anytime I have sought to improve my habits especially during this year commitment to grow & live a healthy lifestyle, is to keep trying in spite of temporary, yet persistent failure. Logic would lead you to believe that you could focus on one behaviour for a limited amount of time and when it looks like it's become second nature, you could turn your focus to another behaviour while maintaining the consistency in the first one. This might be true if I were a programmable robot or if the variations of life and emotions didn't come into play!

Instead of consistent, systematic conquering of bad habits and the successful assimilation of new ones, I've experienced an almost comic life version of "Whack a Mole" where just as I pound down one issue, another rises up and as I pound that one down, the series of "moles" that I had just whacked at keep taking their turns randomly popping out of their holes again. Why won't they all stay down?

One week I may decide I'm going to focus on my water drinking and as I experience some success in that department, my food & exercise journal may be neglected. I turn my attention to the food & exercise journal only to forget the water and find out that I'm not exercising enough in relation to what I'm eating. I start to increase my exercise but then I forget to make some healthy foods and snacks for myself to eat and end up standing at the fridge with no good food choices and we order a pizza. So I spend some time making some wholesome food and realize I've forgotten to take my supplements all week....I think you get the picture!

Life is a series of changing seasons and frankly, as humans we are bizarrely complicated in our reactions and emotions. Summer vacation may somewhat derail my efforts to keep my family and I on the nutritional straight and narrow but September is here and bringing it's routine structure with it. I've been distracted with conflict and emotional turmoil that has temporarily hindered my energy for healthy meal preparation or journaling but that too will pass. It's important to keep the big, long term picture in front of your eyes or the insanity of reemerging obstacles will make you throw your "whacking mallet" away in despair.

I may not drink my 8 glasses of water each and every day but since water is pretty much all I drink ever, at least I know that I'm not quenching my natural thirst with other less-healthy alternatives. I may not take my supplements consistently but I have them and they occasionally need replacing so they ARE being consumed, albeit haphazardly. My exercise may not always outdo my appetite but at least my body is somewhat fit and there's less extra poundage than there could be. So maybe we order a pizza now and then--at least that is the exception and not the rule.

I am comforted that although my "whacking" efforts may appear to be disjointed and ineffective, I am finding that the moles don't get out of their holes quite so high and my efforts are scoring some points. If I keep at it, maybe I'll be quick enough with the mallet to keep them down for good. In the meantime I'm going to keep trying and remember that it could actually be fun to play this game if I make it so.

Hitting the Trail

Tonight my daughter was making cupcakes with supplies that were given to her on her birthday. I gave oversight to this project until it was time to ice them. They smelled very yummy and fresh and I had flashbacks to the last cake episode that began with a lick of icing from my fingers (Cake Confessions). I solemnly told my daughter that I could not help her with this part of her cupcake-making and decided that I better find something to do. She was very understanding and even apologized for tempting me.

I needed to exercise anyways. With Shawn on the computer, Trysten watching cartoons and Paris developing her culinary skills in the kitchen, I decided to venture outdoors for a 5K walk/jog along the recreational trail near my home. I changed my clothes, gathered my Ipod, Gymboss (a wonderful gadget that times and beeps to signal when it's time to switch between my walking and jogging intervals), runners, the leash and a bag. That was all I needed to do to alert my Yorkie, Milo, that we were going out. She began to whimper in anticipation before I could lace up and get to the door!

As we set off, I realized that this was the first walk/jog that I have undertaken since May (read Unexpected Exercise Delight). It was hot early this spring, then I got my new bike and since then running shoes were not part of my summer routine. I enjoy these outdoor jaunts especially with Milo trotting along with me so happy to be outside. I felt a twinge of regret. The evening was so cool and pleasant that it is impossible to wallow in guilt for very long. I love that Milo doesn't complain about the months of neglect and the pathetic walks my children take her on. She just relished what I had to offer here and now. Dogs are wonderful for that!

At one point as I alternated between my brisk stride and slow jog along the path by Turkey Creek, I noticed a deer drinking from an upturned mini recycle bin in one of the palatial yards that backs on the the opposite bank. I'm constantly in awe of these moments even though they are quite common here. Take the recreational trail at dawn or dusk and you're very likely to see deer in the bush, in a field or even on the trail itself. It is a sight that never fails to take my breath away and make me smile. It is special and I feel blessed to experience it.

There is a portion of the trail that is very wooded and bushy and I noticed today that it was so overgrown that the trees have almost joined together above the trail. It was a feeling akin to being in a haunted forest and I was glad that Milo was with me and it was still daylight even though it doesn't seem so for the brief foray into this cave-like section of the path. This is when running with a human partner is a good plan!

I expected the change of exercise to be punishing but was pleasantly surprised by the ease with which my body adapted to the demands. Even Milo was in pretty good form considering that she was out of practise. It wasn't until the last quarter of the workout that I began to feel the complaints of my hips and knees. That is a familiar ending to this exercise choice and the reason I typically limit myself to two such workouts a week even at my best.

Coming back to the house, I met up with a neighbor and had the opportunity to chat for a couple minutes as we headed in the same direction. This was a rare exchange for me due to my work and leisure choices. It is good when you are able to do something healthy that has such a varied benefit. The raised heart rate & sweat, fresh air, the calm & serenity of nature, bringing happiness to a faithful pet, adventure and comrade with others on the trail and in the neighborhood. What a wonderful way to end the day! So why don't we do this more often?

My Big Fat Greek Salad

My co-worker, Stephanie Morris, has been a major support to my efforts to eat healthfully by her willingness to make salads for our lunch. All one needs to do is bring whatever salad veggies are available and she is good to go.

I, on the other hand, am uncharacteristicly lazy when it comes to salad preparation. Many times I purchase salad greens and watch them slowly wilt over a two-week period with promises that I will make that salad to go with dinner...tomorrow. My family doesn't complain about this so it is a bad habit gone unchecked. When I do summon the will to fix a salad, it is often uninspired and I have to prod my family to partake in it.

Not anymore. In fact, increasingly, my saladian purchases come directly to the WCF staff kitchen and I stick with steamed veggies for supper at home which for whatever reason seems to work better both for me and my clan.

During the winter my favorite salad is the typical greens assortment with red onion & tomato. Stephanie makes an awesome simple vinaigrette dressing which I am sure she wouldn't mind me sharing. (See below).

During the summer however, we have gone "Greek" due to the abundance of tomatoes & cucumbers from my garden. I brought what I had and she did the rest by adding the red onion, feta and her dressing.. Almost daily we dish servings from the communal salad bowl savouring the fresh veggies, tangy dressing and salty feta. Stephanie sometimes passes around the bag of olives from home that she keeps separate from the rest of the salad for my sake.

I became so addicted to this healthy indulgence that I begged  for her dressing recipe (see below) and asked her to buy some feta on my behalf so I could make the salad at home on the weekends and contribute more fully to the process. Typically, I dislike large chunks of cheese and only tolerate Feta crumbled into very fine crumbs, but the fresh feta that Stephanie buys from Sam's in the states is very mild and tasty so I ask for bigger pieces.

I used to put dollops of Kraft dressings on my roughage but after experiencing these homemade dressings, the others do not compare. Thanks Stephanie for your salad dressing mentorship! I'm still a bit lazy since Stephanie does the majority of the actual washing & slicing of the vegetables but once in a while I get in there and help. Once I even made the whole salad and delivered it to Stephanie's desk when she was too busy to take a formal lunch. I think she liked that.

Stephanie's Basic Vinaigrette
2 Tbs Olive Oil
2 Tbs Rice Wine Vinegar
Salt & Pepper to Taste

Stephanie's Greek Salad Dressing
3 fl oz Olive Oil
1 fl oz Red Wine Vinegar
1 1/2 Tsp Garlic, minced
1/4 Tsp Oregano

Cake Confessions

I have to be honest lest my faithful readers think I have more self-control than I actually do. I succumbed to cake...not once but TWICE!

It's funny but the last time I did this was Trysten's birthday (read "Take the Cake") and I was fine until, you guessed it, Paris' Birthday this month. I suppose this is where I should be grateful that I did not go on to have more children!

I was doing fine until we got home from the park after a hectic day of preparations & celebration. We were putting everything away and that included slicing, storing, and freezing the leftover cake. I began my spiral downward with a simple lick of icing from my fingers. Mmmm...that tastes good. Soon I was down THREE pieces. I knew that wasn't very smart but at first I felt like I had gotten away with it. Ha! At three in the morning I woke with an adrenaline rush that would not let me sleep in peace. Sugar buzz. Miserable. Why did I do this to myself? I used to drink coffee and diet pop and have sweets on a regular basis and I never had reactions this strong. Now I am so sensitive to sugars that an indiscretion has a mega drug-like effect. At that moment I was seriously questioning the benefit of my choices.

In the rational daylight hours, while discussing the sugar phenomenon with a friend, I realized that while I may have had a higher tolerance in the past, the effects were likely being felt by my body and harm being done. So much better to prove how toxic sugar is when your body is purified and then gets a good dose of it.

One would think that I would have learned my lesson and steered clear of another cake incident, but alas, I too am inflicted with that inane human tendency to repeat stupidity. A week later I was eying the cake in the freezer and feeling a little carefree. The only positive thing I can say is that I had the sense to stop at 1-1/2 pieces this time.

I have noticed that my resolve to continue in healthy lifestyle habits was weakening significantly in light of these failures. Shawn's stops at Tim Horton's for a coffee and the family ice cream runs were beginning to wear me down. Why am I doing this? What's the point? Am I really achieving anything positive? Sure my weight is down 5-6lbs since the New Years but it doesn't feel all that significant. I could be a lot more fun if I just joined in and indulged with my friends & family. When will the temptation of coffee & pop go away?

I acknowledge these questions, doubts, and feelings but that is all I can do. I'm not willing to let a few mistakes undo months of hard work. What are my options really? Give up? Start going back to habits I've gained some victory in and live with the knowledge that I actually chose to go back to them like a dog who vomits and then goes back to make another meal of it. Do I want a coffee or soda that bad? Will it make me feel that good?

I decide that it's not worth it. I realize that cake-like food is missing from my menu and I need to find a healthy alternative if I want to immunize myself from those deprivation-driven moments. Yesterday, I made a Honey Lemon Cake that uses only natural sugars and although it tastes nothing like Zehrs Chocolate cake, a small piece is enough to satisfy. It's one proactive step.

I encourage you, whatever positive changes you are attempting to make in your life, not to give up on what you really want just because occasionally you happen to forget and indulge in what you "think" you want in the moment.

Paper Versus Digital

I am for the most part a woman who has embraced technology. I love my blackberry and my laptop. It has been quoted by time-management professionals that to be effective, a person needs to choose whether they are paper or digital oriented and stick with one or the other.

What do professionals know anyway? I have noticed 2 things that defy my enjoyment of technology. First, I would rather read information from paper than a computer screen if given the choice and second, I am more satisfied by keeping a paper food journal than a digital one.

This is crazy because they have some great digital diet/exercise programs out there! I know because I've tried alot of them. There are some seriously cool mixes of food & exercise databases that can show you graphs and tell you the nutritional composition of everything about what you ate and how many calories you have burned so long as you are faithful to enter the data on a regular basis. They also allow you to enter food information that is not already in the database or create favorite "meals" so that multiple food choices can be selected with the touch of a button.

So why do I currently use a pen & a paper journal? Good question. To be honest, my fav digital program hasn't crossed over to Blackberry yet (I first experienced it as a Palm user) and BB diet software is akin to using DOS-based computer programs. Blah. I've been stalking Vidaone via email every couple months asking when their BB version will be released and they are assuring me that it will come soon. I will likely pay the token $10 fee to cross-over but am expecting to be disappointed as I have been with other favored Palm programs that tried to match their performance on a blackberry platform.

So, I resorted to the traditional book-bound diet & exercise journal (check out my blogs "Bringing It Together & Week of the Journal") and have found it extremely rewarding. Then I remembered other times where I was faithful to keep a journal and realized that my most profitable seasons of weight loss or maintenance were while using a paper journal.

Not sure why this appeals to me so much. Having to enter & re-enter the same foods & caloric values repetitively and resort to a office calculator to add up columns of numbers on a daily basis is so archaic. Having to go to the back of my journal to survey an alphabetical list of foods instead of typing in a couple letters and selecting from instantaneous drop-down lists--what am I thinking???

It is what it is. My last journal expired (it only holds 14 weeks) and it was time to get another one. I did the tedious chore of entering repetitive personal data (like my supplement doses & RMR) on every page and transferring my hand-written collection of foods that are not included in the alphabetical listing that comes with the book. Everything in my technology savvy mind goes "Waste of time. Go digital!" but I love my little black book and the entries/notes that I make in it every day. The daily two-page spread with my scrawl that is as varied and inconsistent as I am. It is the picture that no PDA can ever display in it's cold exactness and limitations. At least not yet, that is. Hmmm...I wonder what the I-Phone software has to offer....

Preservative Therapy

The thing about loving to eat and bouncing around from eating plan to eating plan is that I have experienced some exceptional recipes that have become favorites. Some favorites have had to go by the wayside because they had unhealthy ingredients...mainly artificial sweeteners...but the majority have stood the test of time and diet strategies. The problem is, they were scattered in various places from recipe books, accordion files, and personalized binders. When a craving hit, I had to go in search of the desired recipe and hope I didn't lose it before it made it's way back to it's resting place.

No more! This week I decided to fulfill one of those nagging items on my "one day when I have nothing to do AND the energy to do something" list. Every woman has one.

I've actually attempted this before but my efforts were either too tedious or did not produce the desired result of aesthetic appeal and convenience. Mixed in with those recipes are reminders of pathetic stabs at this endeavor in the past.

I started at Wal-Mart looking for the perfect scrapbook album. (This I decided would be more counter-top pleasing than a binder and more hands-on than a computer database). I needed the right size too. I settled on a 8" x 8", top-loading, post bound scrapbook and picked up some refills.

Next began the copying of the recipes which I believe is legal since I own the original books and I am not distributing or selling the copies to others. Personal use. Just in case anyone's sense of copyright violation is buzzing!

One recipe book after another I have been leafing through to find those friends that I search for so often. I am not shy about writing in my books or stating my opinion of the recipe so it's easy to spot the candidates. "Excellent", "Mmmm..", "Yummy", "Delicious". These are the words I am looking for. I avoid the ones that say "Terrible", "Disgusting", "Never make this again", "Not my style" or even a bland "Good". There are some I wasn't sure about so I put them in but be sure that if I try that creation and it is not special, it will be eliminated immediately.

Using the reduce size function on the copier and a paper cutter, I was able to get the recipes to my desired specifications so they slipped easily into the album page protectors. Even though I am not finished, I have the book divided into sections (Breakfasts, Snacks, Dinners, Desserts....etc) and I have even made little cover pages for each section via MS Word & clipart.

It is amazing therapy to get fed up and just do one of those things on that mental list. I have enjoyed the process greatly. Beyond the practical benefit of having my favorite recipes handy and ready to add to or delete from easily, I am envisioning a coveted collection of recipes that my children and their future families will want for their own. I wish my mom had done the same. She had some amazing recipes when we were growing up that have long since been lost but we all try in vain to reproduce. Sometimes we get it close but none of our concoctions is exactly "it". I have been on that same precipice and hope this project will solve the problem.

I'm not done but am getting closer than ever to being able to finally scratch this item off my list and that makes me feel very relieved indeed. Now if I could only get to those photos....

Road Less Travelled

The Jillian Michael's hoopla is over. I called the customer support and cancelled my free trial today. My workout DVD & book haven't arrived yet but from past experience with these things, it'll be a few more weeks before they arrive. I still have access to the website until Aug. 14th but I know I won't be visiting. The workouts were great but the menu was very limited. Cottage cheese, meat, and egg whites were the main staples. I didn't mind these foods but I definitely need variety long-term!

I have been keeping careful track of all my eating & exercise for over a month now with a friend reviewing my journal on a weekly basis and this was effective. Sometime last week I just stopped it all. No a scratch of journalling for a whole week!

The truth is I've been dealing with a lot of issues that don't directly relate with this blog but have a huge effect on my health and well-being. For a few weeks now I have been struggling with the decisions I've made and how the people in my life view me for making them.

I've come face to face with the reality that in being true to my passion for health/fitness and the other priorities in my life, I have disappointed...even hurt others. Not everyone thinks I'm a great person. It's been hard to look at myself from some other people's perspective. It hurts and I'm taking some time to process whats been said so I can separate the truth from lies, learn, and go on with my life.

A Facebook friend posted in their status today, "A wise woman takes the road less travelled". I think that statement sums up what I've tried to be and do with my life--be a wise woman and take the road less travelled. From feedback I've gotten lately, I realize that is not what everyone sees. Some see me as acting like I'm better than others, selfish, inconsiderate of people's feelings and cold.

Taking the road less travelled has put me in situations where I have had to face being alone. I've been okay with that for the most part. Lately though, it's gone beyond that. I've felt increasing pressure to abandon my less-travelled road and join the mainstream or risk being called "extreme" or "out of balance". It has made people who favor the more oft-travelled road challenge me with "What is wrong with this road?". "I've travelled with you on yours so why don't you travel with me on mine?"

I've even had a situation develop where I reached out in my inexperience and refusal to accept failure to achieve something that someone else who was more skilled and experienced had not dared to do. I succeeded but that person could not accept that reality and so they doubt my claim to victory. Being alone on that less-travelled road means that sometimes your achievements can be refuted or rejected because there is no-one but God there to see you.

I am blessed with a husband and friends who know who I am and accept me as such and for that I'm grateful. I realize now that the root issue is that deep down I believe that I am not a good enough Christian, wife, mother, daughter, friend, or person. I try very hard to please the people in my life but I am finding this way of living to be suffocating and in the end, I please no-one. I am taking time to seek God and to understand the uniqueness He has blessed me with and how I can be loving and supportive to those around me and still be the unusual woman God made me to be. I know somehow at the end of this season I will be a better, stronger and healthier person.

Homemade Goodness

Saturday, July 24-Made myself go downstairs and do a JM workout even though I didn't feel like it. Wasn't exciting but I felt great when it was over. Picked some parsley & my first ripe Roma tomatoes and made a homemade Tabbouleh salad to go with the dinner I had planned for our company that evening. Tabbouleh is time-consuming to make but it is very healthy & tasty. Also made homemade lemonade as a special treat. Yum. Served a platter of assorted raw cookie balls for dessert. Paris had made a beautiful chocolate cake at a friends so I wasn't sure if anybody would want my healthy alternative but they did. Shawn and the kids ate the cake while the rest of us adults sampled the raw cookie balls. Always an experience when I cook.

Sunday, July 25-Made our family favorite for breakfast. French Toast. For years I evaded this meal because traditionally it is made with white Texas toast bread with lots of Aunt Jemima syrup on top. I have, over the past few years been able to adjust my family to D'Italiano wheat bread and more recently to the agave syrup. For myself, I use the lite wheat bread. Now everyone is happy. Well almost. It used to be Shawn's favorite meal but it's slipped a few notches since I gave it a makeover.
We had roast beef & cheese wraps for lunch. As a family we agreed that tortillas are only for taco meat. I personally enjoy scrambled eggs in them too. We ate the wraps but we would have enjoyed the roast beef on a traditional crusty roll more.
Family bike ride together at a leisurely pace. We stopped for ice cream because that is probably the biggest incentive to getting my children on bikes in the first place. I'm getting used enjoying my water while they indulge. I remind myself that this is my choice and not everyone has to make the same one as me.
Sunday PM after prayer I finally indulge in a special treat. Homemade almond milk ice cream. This time I used peanut butter in the mix and at the end of the blending added a few of my fudge raw cookie balls. I ended up eating 3 wonderful servings and gave myself the chills!

Monday, July 26-Had a breakfast of cottage cheese, blueberries, and Kashi cereal. Getting used to this cottage cheese thing. It was kind of enjoyable with the crisp cereal & fruit mixed in.
Rode bike to/from work as my workout for the day.
Was exhausted after work to the point where I couldn't get off the couch. Shawn ordered pizza and I ate my 3 pieces appreciatively. Limited myself to one serving of homemade ice cream this time around.
Went to bed early.

In the past two weeks since increasing my protein levels and continuing to eat healthy, nourishing foods (except the pizza of course) I have lost 4 1/2lbs! This is a 6lb total for me since the New Year. Losing weight isn't my 100% focus but it's nice to see some of the extra pounds I've gained since my dramatic career change melt away. Doing things the right way and in balance with the other demands on my life. Whoohoo!

Avocado & Cinnamon

My Jillianmichaels.com adventures continue. This has been quite entertaining! Life is so boring when you're not going outside your comfort zone, but sometimes, as you will read in today's blog, it's safer.

Thursday, July 22-I decided to improvise for breakfast and put together a turkey sandwich on lite, whole wheat toast. As I pulled the bread out of the toaster ready to put on some mustard, I recalled Jillian saying on the show that avocado makes a good substitute for mayo. I'm not much of a mayo fan but I like butter and that toast was looking really dry. I pulled out the avocado and mushed some on both slices. Add the turkey, mustard, and tomato and it was very tasty. Avocado is good as guacamole, but I struggle with it's mushy texture when eating it alone. I could totally use it as a sandwich spread. I was very excited to find yet another healthy food finding it's way into my diet.
Tilipia leftovers for lunch.
We ended up eating the actual scheduled breakfast for supper. Shawn was craving eggs.
Went on a long bike ride (2 1/2hr) with Trysten. Took a break from the JM workout in my basement.

Friday, July 23-Woke up feeling unmotivated and a little lost. Didn't want to make any decisions so when I opened my fridge and saw the Greek Yogurt & Cinnamon mixture that I had made a couple days before and forgotten to eat, I grabbed it. Problem was, the JM recipe had called for 2 tsp. of cinnamon in a 6oz dish of plain Greek yogurt. It seemed a little excessive but I innocently complied with the recipe. Now two days later, the cinnamon was fully potent and I struggled with eating the combination. It was bitter and it burned. Suck it up, Cassidy! Maybe there was a purpose to this. Cinnamon is good for speeding up the metabolism. If other people can eat it, so can I!
My stomach burned for hours and to make matters worse, I had Texas Chili leftovers for lunch. Agony of heartburn all afternoon. I don't get heartburn that often so this is a big deal.
It was at this point that I double-checked the Greek Yogurt & Cinnamon recipe. No, I didn't misread it. It really said two teaspoons. This is what the message boards are for. I promptly logged in and posted my experience asking others if they thought this recipe's cinnamon was excessive.
I got a reply from someone named "Kim" apologizing about the amount of cinnamon in the recipe. She cut & pasted an identical recipe which called for 1 tsp, but I replied to her with a cut & paste of my own. I'm finding out quickly that each recipe is altered somewhat depending on the calorie and oxidation levels you are following. One version of the recipe may be fine, but it seems there are more errors in the ones I'm using!
I can't believe I cinnamon-poisoned myself thinking I was following the program. Man, I feel dumb. Who does that?
Did the JM workout first thing in the morning. Getting used to Jillian's 3-2-1 strategy. Three weight-training exercises, two cardio exercises, and one ab exercise.....x2 and 5 different circuits of course! I actually only completed four circuits before the hour was done. I have a feeling Jillian would be telling me to hurry it up.

Actually, Jillian Michaels would've liked my suffering today because for the first time since beginning this program, I really did think I was going to throw up and it wasn't from the workout!

Michael's Mania

I am thoroughly enjoying my use of the Jillianmichaels.com website so far. Here is a little review of my experience so far.

Sat. July 16th-I hadn't really started the meal plan but I packed some high protein items to eat for snacks and lunch during my day since I was going to be out. Shouldn't have bothered. Between grocery shopping, a meeting, driving out to Essex to see a friend finish her triathlon, and bolting home to prepare for company--I didn't have time to eat anything beyond a piece of Turkey meat. Good news was, I had bought everything I needed for the next two weeks and didn't overeat.

Sun. July 17th-We had a "Family Fun Day" at church after service which generously provides a hot dog, bag of chips, and a pop to everyone. Decided to pack JM's Oriental Chicken Salad instead. Good choice. Very tasty and satisfying. Didn't even want the junk food.
This was the day I conquered my dislike of cottage cheese by mixing it with strawberries & walnuts.
Tried the Greek-style yogurt mixed with blueberries. Not bad. A little tart.
Put together the ingredients for JM Texas Chili in crock pot before going to bed. I needed it for lunch the next day.

Mon. July 18th-Realized my breakfast was going to take more time than I had so I improvised.
Hated the Texas Chili. The recipe didn't call for beans or tomatoes of any kind so it was kind of like taco meat, but not as good in my opinion. I had added beans anyways, but I should've thrown in the bottle of marinara sauce I use in my own chili recipe.
Steak & edamame & cucumber for supper. Yum. There two more veggie dishes I was supposed to make but just didn't have time.
Tackled my first JM workout later that night after a 30min. family bike ride. Got about half way through before I got tired out and went to bed. My right knee bothered me a little too.

Tues. July 18th-Realized that my scheduled breakfast needed 4 hours in a slow cooker! Decided to improvise by making up my own breakfast and having my crock pot "Broccoli & Cheese Crustless Quiche" for lunch instead. Got home from work tired and hungry so we polished off the crock pot meal for supper! It was the day of eggs & cheese.
Did the whole JM workout while watching "Losing It with Jillian". Very strenuous but doable. Not alot of equipment needed. Just a weight bench, step platform, stability ball, dumbbells, skipping rope, mat and a timer. Right knee didn't start hurting this time until the very end. Sweaty!

Wed. July 19th-Actually made a JM breakfast of egg whites, diced turkey bacon & cheese. Tasted good all mixed together.
Improvised with lunch. They wanted me to put a can of tuna and some boiled egg whites in my salad. Not going to happen. Made the salad, then mixed the raw egg whites with the tuna and made little patties that I "fried". Wasn't spectacular but I know I wouldn't have eaten the other combination. I'm picky.
Supper was tilipia with onions & spices wrapped in foil and baked. Was supposed to grill the asparagus but decided to throw it into the foil with the fish to make my life easier. Also made sauteed zucchini & mushrooms. Jillian would have been proud of our dinner but my family was not impressed! Trysten cried out a despondent "NOooo" when he saw the amount of vegetables we were going eat.
No workout tonight. I got to rest. Thanks Jillian:)

Summary-The website design isn't superior to any other diet websites I've tried, but I like what it has to offer. It takes time to print out the meal plan, recipes, exercise plan, and exercises, but in a couple weeks I expect that to lessen significantly.
If you try to do the plans perfectly, you're going to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I just do the best I can and the upside is that the one week of meals probably will last two weeks as I hoped.
Some recipes are good and others not, but it's healthy and filling. I couldn't imagine eating everything called for in one day...I think I need to lower the calorie level I selected because I'm supplementing with little things that aren't found in the JM meal plan like dark chocolate, low-fat chips, almond milk ice cream and raw cookie balls (healthy). I'm trying to incorporate the treats that I know I'm not going to give up for life.
I had questions about two of the recipes and found the answers I was looking for on the message boards.

Didn't think I'd say this but starting to feel a little Jillian Michaeled out and I haven't even got the DVD or the book yet!

Getting Over It

Today, after a couple days of rigorous grocery shopping amidst other life events, I decided to begin my Jillianmichaels.com meal plan. Originally, I had planned for Monday but my fridge was stuffed with fresh foods and I figured that there was no excuse not to get started immediately.

I noticed on the JM plan that there was a lot of cottage cheese. This was annoying to me because I have never liked cottage cheese never found a good substitute for it. I went about changing all the meals that involved this item.

When I was a kid, I loved yogurt but I turned away stubbornly at the chunky, white curds of cottage cheese. I would watch in fascination as adults in my life devoured cartons with delight. I would reject lasagna that featured it instead of ricotta.

As a young adult in the cafeteria food industry, I watched curiously as patrons would buy "health plates" that had a healthy serving of the this protein-rich food. People actually order this?

Now I'm a "mature" adult and I remember two incidents where I endeavored to include this food in my diet. The first time, it was the main ingredient in a peach smoothie. I took one sip and dumped the whole thing down the drain. Disgusting! The second time I sat down with a dish of it and added a tablespoon of flax seed while in the PT office at Goodlife. My boss watched with amusement as I took tiny bites, grimaced, and chewed..and chewed..and chewed. She came by some time later and made fun of me for making the snack last so long. I never finished. I dumped it and accepted that some foods just taste bad to me. No more cottage cheese attempts!

It dawned on me that you have to like cheese to enjoy it. I realized that I don't really like cheese that much. Let me rephrase, I don't like cold cheese. I thoroughly enjoy melted cheeses. To me, cottage cheese is like little chunks of cold cheese in a white, soupy liquid which makes the whole thing more revolting. I don't eat cheese sticks (which is another great protein choice) or any other cold, solid cheese if I can help it.

I was shopping for some specific dairy items at Meijers in the States and I noticed little individual containers of small curd cottage cheese and recalled that the JM recipes mixed fruit & nuts with it. Impulsively I grabbed a few and decided to give it another try. There's been a lot of change this year and maybe, just maybe, I could train myself to endure, if not actually appreciate, this healthy food.

Today, I pulled it out and mixed it with a cup of sliced strawberries and a couple tablespoons of chopped walnuts. I mixed it all together and tentatively gave it a try. I have to admit that the fruit & nuts made it more palatable than flax seed did and I like the small curd--it was thicker and less cheesy tasting. I was thrilled when I was able to finish the whole bowl!

This is the beginning but it is a big step for me to put aside old mindsets and allow myself the opportunity to experience change at a very simple level. It was my choice whether to keep avoiding this food nemesis or to get over it. No-one else really cares, but I feel a bit taller and empowered knowing that I chose to grow as a person in this small way.